Wednesday, February 4, 2015

A Fangirl’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse


So, you've decided to watch The Walking Dead. Just like the zombie apocalypse, The Walking Dead is dangerous territory. Your emotions may not make it out in tact. Here's a guide to make sure you come out of this experience as unscathed as possible.


1.) Someone to watch with.
The Walking Dead is terrifying. Like, pee-your-pants terrifying. It's even more terrifying if you're watching alone. Find someone to watch it with you, and cling to them as tightly as possible.

2.) A blindfold
For the moments when the gore just gets to be too much. You'll also need a pair of hands to cover your ears for the creepy, squishy sound effects.

3.) Tissues
People die. (If you're surprised, let me remind you that the word "dead" is in the title.) You're going to cry. It's inevitable. Have that tissue box on hand for when you do.

4.) A frying pan
As we saw in the movie Tangled, a frying pan is a weapon like no other. If you feel creeped out, grab this well-known kitchen utensil. You can brandish it against invisible enemies! And, if nothing else, you can feel badass while watching.

5.) A light
Never watch in the dark. Never ever. (But if you do, see steps 1 and 4.)

PRO TIP: Always remember that this is just a TV show. Remind yourself as often as you need to.


1.) Plot twists. You will not be bored.
You may also have the following symptoms: a dropped jaw, a racing heart, and thoughts like: "What the frick just happened?

2.) Good writing.
While not all the characters are likable, the storylines and types of people we come across are so fascinating. People from all walks of life band together when they never would have before, and it's interesting to see the different characters handle this situation.

3.) Indirectly experiencing the zombie apocalypse. 
Who doesn't have thoughts about the world ending? Watching TV can be the best way to sort out our thoughts and feelings about it, without having to actually go through it ourselves. Plus, it makes a thrilling television show. Seeing other people thrust into life-or-death situations is the best. (And sometimes the worst.)

3.) Daryl. 
He's a sweetheart.


1.) Pinch yourself
This may be a nightmare. See if you can wake up.

2.) Stay inside until you can get a grasp on what's happening.
Barricade your house as well. It's just common sense.

3.) Breathe.
It's not the end of the world. Well, it kind of is. Breathe anyway.

4.) Stockpile any weapon you can think of. 
Pro tip: Guns and loud noises will often summon more walkers (aka zombies). Stick with the quieter weapons, like knives. Or, hey, a frying pan!

5.) Find Daryl as soon as possible.
Merle and Rick are also acceptable.

It goes without saying, but don't let zombies bite you. Don't even let them touch you, if we're being really honest. Stay as far away from walkers as possible. Live on Mount Everest.

7.) Pray like there's no tomorrow, because there may not be one
If this is happening to you, you're going to need a little divine assistance. Repeat as often as needed.

8.) Collect food and supplies.
Take a lesson from the Doomsday Preppers on TLC and collect as much food, water, and fuel as possible. Flashlights are also a necessity. Maps made of paper would also be a good idea--sadly, using your GPS is no longer an option.

9.) Stick together.
Getting lost in a world with no cell service or electricity of any kind would obviously be quite the letdown. Keep your family and friends in sight.

10.) Remember that your family members may not all be dead.
Despite what anyone tells you, that one family member might be alive. Unless you saw them get bitten. Then they're dead. Really dead. In that case, run.

11.) Survive.
In the words of Haymitch from The Hunger Games, "Stay alive."'

And whether the zombie apocalypse you encounter is real or fictional, remember...

Okay, it's your turn. Leave your thoughts, questions, and best survival tips in the comments below.


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