Monday, January 12, 2015

Paige and Sky Spend a Day In Middle-earth


I think it would be the best kind of adventure if I could go to Middle-earth at all, and a crazy interesting one if a location was picked completely at random and I had to cope in said situation (like an actually interesting version of Survivor, am I right?). For article writing purposes, me and Sky decided that, upon hypothetically having a day to spend in Middle-earth in whatever way we chose, we could decide on the start location and do whatever we want (because why not) and second, we’d have either a magic time turner--just like Hermione, crossing fandoms here--or the ability to beam ourselves to different parts of Middle-earth. The fact that Middle-earth is a world where horses are the primary means of transportation sounds like heaven to me, but if you only have a day and have so many places you just HAVE to see, we’ll have to skip quite a bit of the long journeys.

I’d like to start and end the day by hanging out with the peoples of Middle-earth, eating tons of good food, dancing, and just people watching. Let’s start with the morning…

I start off the day by meandering through the Shire. And, since I’m in Middle-earth, obviously I would get up WAY early in the morning because it’s so exciting that this would be the one time I’d be unable to sleep in. I think I’d spend a good chunk of time taking a long walk at sunrise… so I could see all the houses and the farms. Especially the corn field that Sam and Frodo walked through in the movie. There’s nothing like a good long, fresh walk, and it would be perfect and green in the May sunshine. Maybe there would be time for a moment in which my oil paints mysteriously appear down by the pond, and I can paint a picture in remembrance?

Then, of course, Hobbit breakfast. That seems self-explanatory enough. I would have to have a tour of Bilbo’s gardens next, in order to digest before beaming myself off to Rohan.

In an ideal situation, me and Eowyn would be instant best friends, and she wouldn’t be questioning the strangeness of this over excited gal all of a sudden appearing and wanting to be BFFs. For the majority of my visit, we’d be riding, and I’d have to have a grand tour of the stables first. Then we’d go for a long ride, so I could explore a bunch of the surrounding land, and just fulfill my dream of riding in Middle-earth.

From what I’ve seen and heard, I wouldn’t be particularly excited about lunch in Rohan, so I would leave for Rivendell. Actually, I’d stop in Mirkwood first to sneak around (realising the only way I could do that was because of my beaming abilities that I would use as soon as they’d try and catch me) and explore and get some more background information on Legolas and Thranduil because I can’t help myself. But I’d be beaming as fast as you can say SHELOB when I see some of those giant spiders… and I’d head straight for Rivendell, because between the library (BOOKS OF MIDDLE EARTH. JUST IMAGINE. BOOKS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE IN MIDDLE EARTH) and Elrond and all the amazing elves and other people around there, imagine all you could learn. Then I’d definitely stay for the rest of the afternoon, and then I’d have to go back to the Shire--quickly--for the evening meal and dancing--and, because hobbits love comfort, they’d probably be in bed early enough, at which point I’d beam me and Bilbo back to Rivendell. I’d spend the rest of the evening and early hours of the morning living it up, elf style. By then, I’d also have learned the secret to staying in Middle-earth, or I would have transformed fully into an elf and would never be able to leave. I’m staying in Middle-earth. That’s it. I’ll write back someday and let you know what happens.


First off, the teleportation device Paige and I have invented for this article is simply fabulous, and we must invent it immediately. Maybe our teleportation devices are rings! That would be fitting.

To start off with, I’d pay a visit to the Shire, particularly Bag End. If Bilbo would let me, I’d go inside and share a meal with him, and ask to see the book he’s working on. Maybe my visit would coincide with Frodo, but maybe not, since I have a feeling he’s probably halfway to Mordor already. So I’d teleport to Sam and Frodo and share a little lembas bread along their journey.

Then I’d head to Rohan, where I’d ride horses with Eowyn, with a little side trip to Rivendell where I spend two hours quizzing Elrond on all the information he can possibly give me. I’d find Aragorn, wherever he may be, and secretly look at him with googly eyes as he tells me all about plants. (In another life, we’d fall in love forever, but I digress.)

If Pippin and Merry are in the Ent forest, I’d find them there and bring them some pipe-weed. Then I’d locate Gandalf and annoyingly follow him around, asking questions and in general spending time with him on all his wizardly-escapades. (I’d ask to be his wizard apprentice, too. I have no idea what he’d say.) I’d ask Arwen to teach me magical healing skills and a bit of Elvish.

I would end the day smoking pipes with Aragorn, Gandalf, and Legolas while we’re overlooking Rohan. And at the end of it all, you’d have to drag me kicking and screaming out of Middle-earth. In fact, perhaps I’d never leave. And as for what I’d do with a whole lifetime in Middle-earth… well, that is an entirely different story.

I’d also spend a fair bit of time with Brego and Shadowfax. Because I can.

How would you spend a day in Middle-earth? Tell us below in the comments!


  1. This teleportation device is necessary immediately. Your choices are essentially what I would pick: breakfast and second breakfast at the Shire, drop by Rohan and Minas Tirith, slip into Mirkwood and steal some elf shampoo, drop by Lothlorien and Rivendell. Awesome post :)

  2. UHMAZING post, you guys! I <3 Middle Earth so much... Sometimes I actually feel a sense of homesickness for a world like that. But that's not what you asked about. How would I spend my day in Middle Earth? More like how would I spend my LIFE in Middle Earth XD Probably dito to what Alyssa said, but I might want to do some sailing there and maybe I'd drop by the lonely mountain and visit, oh wait, so I guess visit the tombs of Thorin and Fili and Kili. my feels... On a less sad note, maybe I'd drop by the house of Tom Bombadil or maybe even Beorn... They sound so awesome! Somebody better invent this tele-transportation system pretty soon...