If the promos for season three had you worried, never fear -
it's probably worse than you thought.
The episode opens with Murphy still in the bunker staring
at a suicide video of the man who apparently destroyed the world with ALIE, his
artificial intelligence creation. Before Murphy can escape the bunker, the
emergency doors seal him in for a whopping eighty-six days without WiFi.
Murphy consequently grows a beard, wraps himself in blankets, and takes wine
baths. To each their own. When the door finally opens, he makes his way to the
large, suspiciously dust-free plantation-style house where ALIE and Jaha have
been comfortably staying while Murphy went nuts.
Exhausted from his solitude (???) Murphy collapses into Jaha's
arms, and Jaha kindly gives him a bath and a shave (and somehow manages to get
rid of the dreadlock mop Murphy acquired over four months) before Murphy wakes
up and asks what the heck, man?
At Camp Jaha (nicely renamed Arkadia - I see what you did
there, Bellamy), Bellamy and Lincoln have a delightfully six-pack-full fight to
demonstrate how Lincoln can still beat Bellamy up. Bellamy then hands Lincoln
an Ark jacket, because apparently Lincoln is now on the Team. What Team? I don't know what Team. The Arkadia Team. They
have jackets.
Lincoln accepts the Team Jacket, but Bellamy isn't letting
Lincoln accompany them in a sector search.
Lincoln: I can help
Bellamy: I can't have my world destroyed again
Lincoln: what how
Bellamy: You're my whole world bro
Lincoln: Bro
Bellamy then goes to ask Kane for permission to carry
firearms into the sector. Kane says sure. They share a bonding moment where
they both smile, and then Bellamy leaves.
Abby wakes up from her uncomfortable position on the couch,
since she hasn't been sleeping and grabs it where she can, and
starts talking about Clarke. Clarke is apparently very good at hide-and-seek,
particularly the' hide' part. Kane tells her not to worry. Abby worries anyway.
Bellamy finds Monty and asks if he's ready to go. Monty is,
sure, but Jasper is passed out under a table, because he's never really left
the 'anger' stage of grief. They drag him to the car anyway (Why? Why not find
someone else more capable?), and the gang is together - Bellamy, Monty, Miller,
Raven, and…Jasper.
Bellamy says hi to a new girl who kisses him and hands him a
copy of the Iliad because he's a nerd. If I didn't ship Bellarke so much I'd
say keep her, Bell, but she's probably going to die, so maybe don't get too
attached.
Bellamy gives guns to everyone except Jasper. Good call.
Jasper then smacks Bellamy in the face. Bellamy handles it surprisingly well
and packs everyone into the car for an unpleasant road trip, accompanied by
Octavia on horseback.
It isn't as
unpleasant as expected, however, since Monty apparently has a working iPod that
plays only sad indie music, and after everyone gripes, they start singing at
the top of their lungs about how sad they are. They have a great time.
Bellamy: These kids. *smiles*
Suddenly their scanner picks up a tracker beeping from
another sector, so they switch courses and head toward it, thinking someone
might be in trouble. (Which, considering the show, someone probably is.)
Back with Jaha, Murphy is rightfully upset, and Jaha is
sounding a lot like Mao. Freedom is an
illusion! Blowing up the world was so great! Murphy goes 'lol nope' and
leaves but ALIE assures Jaha he'll be back.
Back with Bellamy and the Kids, they reach the sector with
the beeping. Apparently, the sector is also the border to the Ice Nation.
Octavia warns everyone Winter is Coming, but Bellamy says, 'No fighting.' Two
Ice Nation grounders approach and chat with Octavia in Grounderese. Octavia
tells Bellamy they're looking for 'Wanheda,' whatever that is.
Jasper doesn't really care what's going on as long as he can
explode at someone, so he picks a fight with a large Grounder. The Grounder
puts a knife to Jasper's throat, which Jasper gets a kick out of, and then they
have to kill the Grounders to save Jasper's currently pathetic life. Thanks for
nothing, bro.
Kane and Indra show up and announce everyone is hunting
Clarke, and her new name happens to be 'Wanheda.' Apparently Wanheda commands
death, and if you kill Clarke, you also command death. #GrounderLogic
Bellamy: WE MUST GO SAVE HER
Bellamy: RESCUE MY SUN AND STARS
Bellamy: RIGHT NOW
Octavia rides back to Arkadia.
Cut to Clarke killing a panther and displaying red hair. Cut
back to Arkadia, where Octavia finds Lincoln and isn't happy with his new
fashion sense because wearing the Team Jacket means he's giving up on
everything.
Cut back to Clarke at a Grounder trading post, where she
hands over the panther in exchange for supplies. Two Grounders come in, looking
for Wanheda, but the Trading Post Girl tells them they're two days behind
Wanheda. They give suspicious side-eyes to Clarke, who suspiciously tries to
look not-suspicious. The Grounders leave.
Back at Arkadia, Abby tells Lincoln they want more supplies
from Mount Weather. Lincoln says that's a terrible idea, you need breaks between runs
to Mt. Weather or people will think you're colonizing it.
Colonization = war. Abby dismisses him, then asks Raven how her hip is. GREAT,
says Raven. LIAR, says Abby. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, says Raven. MAYBE IF YOU
WEREN'T SO BITTER YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGLE (AGAIN), says Abby. MAYBE IF YOU
FOCUSED ON JOB A (Chancellor) OR JOB B (Doctor) INSTEAD OF BOTH, YOU'D STILL
SUCK, says Raven, and leaves.
Back with Clarke, Trading Post Girl is taking care of the
shoulder injury Clarke sustained during the panther kill. Clarke is vaguely
relaxed and trying not to think about genocide. Trading Post Girl and Clarke
sleep together. Because this is The CW, and if they can they will, and it
doesn't need to make sense.
Meanwhile, at Arkadia...
Lincoln: Are you still mad?
Octavia: YOU JOINED A GANG OF COURSE I'M MAD
Lincoln: It's not a gang Octava it's your brother and his
friends
Octavia: Traitor
Lincoln: You're not even a Grounder
Octavia: That's beside the point
Lincoln: Drat she's still mad
Meanwhile, Jaha and Lurch (seriously where did this person
come from) find Murphy on the beach. COME WITH US JOHN, says Jaha. NOBODY CALLS
ME JOHN, says Murphy. COME WITH US JOHN, says Jaha. NO, says Murphy. LOOK ABOUT
KEEPING YOU LOCKED UP JOHN LET ME JUST SAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THAT IT
WAS MY BAD, says Jaha. U SUCK, says Murphy.
TAKE THIS ROCK, says Jaha. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO TOMORROWLAND
AND YOU WILL SEE THE CITY OF LIGHT WHERE NOTHING IS SAD.
THANKS BUT NO THANKS, says Murphy. I LIKE THE BITTER
SARCASTIC ME.
A boat arrives, bearing none other than Emori and two
Grounders. HELLO JOHN, says Emori.
WHEN DO WE LEAVE, says Murphy.
TOLD YOU, says ALIE.
Meanwhile back with the Arkadians, Shawn Mendes plays a
piano from Mt. Weather, and Jasper tackles him because he hates music and that piano
belonged to someone once. Everyone is shocked except the viewers.
Cut to Clarke exiting the trading post and getting nabbed by
the Grounder Bounty Hunters, who weren't as stupid as they seemed. Meanwhile at
the same moment, a car - holding Bellamy, Monty, Kane, and Indra - is
facing a fallen tree.
IT'S A TRAP, says Indra. WE DON'T KNOW THAT, says Bellamy. Another tree falls behind them, effectively cutting off
their escape route. OKAY, FINE, YOU'RE RIGHT, says Bellamy.
QUESTIONS
What are ALIE and Jaha up to?
Is Murphy going to join them, or are he and Emori going off
on their own adventure?
Is Bellamy's new girlfriend doomed?
Has Lexa trapped Bellamy & Co, and if so, what does she
want from them?
And of course, my burning inquiry since season two, WHERE IS
THE MUTANT?
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