Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Shipping: A (slightly) exagerrated roadmap

You know how it goes. You're sitting there, minding your own business, when it hits you. Those two characters would be good together. No, not just good - really, really good. You get a sinking feeling in your stomach, and before you know it, you're shipping. Not just a little, but a lot. You're trying to grab anyone you can find to make them part of your crew and if you can't find anyone to help sail your ship, well, you'll sail it on your own, thankyouverymuch!


Because those two need to be together. My sister Riah and I experience this feeling very often. We're the queens of Unpopular Ships that Frequently Make No Sense (Finnick/Katniss, Thranduil/Tauriel, Eric/Tris, Daryl/Beth, you name it we ship it first class) and therefore our ships usually never get out of the harbor. This is probably why we love The 100 so much - because Bellarke is actually a thing. It's  borderline canon. It's a Thing. Capital 'T.'

The best definition for shipping a couple is, "It's like being in a relationship with a relationship." And, like any relationship, it has stages.

STAGE ONE: INTEREST
You see Person 1 and Person 2 and you think, "Hmm. There's potential there."
 
 
STAGE TWO: IT HITS YOU
 
 
They look at each other. Or better yet, they speak to each other - and you know it. They're destined. Or at least they'd better be.
 

 
STAGE THREE: YOU SHIP IT
Basically,
 

 
STAGE FOUR: SO, UM, HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED/READ THIS?
You should, because Person 1 and Person 2 need to happen and I need you to feel this with me, okay? OKAY???
 

 
STAGE FIVE: RE-WATCH AND ANALYZE
"Did you see how he looked at her right there? Did you SEE IT?" "She totally went  back for him." "He didn't have to be nice to her right there." "Oh my word, she asked for his help!!!"
 
 
STAGE SIX: REALLY HATE ON THAT ONE CHARACTER WHO MIGHT RUIN YOUR SHIP.
Because they serve no purpose other than to get between Person 1 and Person 2.
 
 

 
STAGE SEVEN: WATCH ALL THE INTERVIEWS.
There has to be some kind of sign, right? They'll talk about this ship? Or it's been written about somewhere? Or somebody's made graphics? WAIT! FANVIDEOS!
 
 
 
STAGE EIGHT: YOU DRAG SOMEONE ON BOARD WITH YOU.
And it's glorious.
 
 
STAGE EIGHT (ALTERNATIVE): NOBODY WILL GET ON BOARD WITH YOU.
And it's awful. What are you supposed to do with yourself!??
 

STAGE NINE: SOMEONE SUGGESTS YOU GO OUTSIDE OR DO SOMETHING. 
Wait.
 
 
STAGE TEN: YOU GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING.
Everything reminds you of your ship.  You realize you're officially past help.
 
 
STAGE ELEVEN: SOMEONE SAYS THEY HEARD YOUR SHIP MIGHT NOT BE CANON.
You...They...What?
 
STAGE TWELVE: The series ends. Or you need to wait for the next book. Or your show goes on hiatus.
 

 
 
STAGE THIRTEEN: PEOPLE TALK ABOUT OTHER SHIPS.
...Why? We don't know.
 
 
STAGE FOURTEEN: YOU FIND ANOTHER OTP.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
 
 
 
 
BONUS STAGE: SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHAT SHIPPING MEANS.
And you just...
Wow.
 
 

 
 
You will go down with your ship. You will stand by it to the last breath. You will remain loyal ninety-nine percent of the time, the clause being a) one party of said ship becomes unworthy. This is serious stuff. And we love to love it.
 


5 comments:

  1. This post is basically me. Like it's bad. Very, very bad. I tend to like canon/popular ships but there are exceptions. Like Enjolras/Eponine (I am going DOWN with that ship. I really don't care that they never actually meet. They are perfect for each other. SO PERFECT.) from Les Mis and Kate/Gibbs from NCIS (There is LITERALLY no hope for that ship. Can I cry now?).

    Thank you because this post is basically my life.

    But my OTP of all OTPs is Tony and Ziva from NCIS. They never got together but they are definitely canon and I love them.

    ~Amanda

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  2. This is brilliant. I am in love with this post.

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  3. I used this post to explain to someone what a ship was... He understands so much now.

    wonderfully done. :)

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  4. Zutara is my OTP. i just can't see Katara with Aang. She must be with Zuko. even though it isn't canon.

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