Thursday, November 10, 2016

Meet Cute: Happy Hippie Sitcom Lovers

Have you ever wondered what would happen if two of your favorite characters met? Would they get along fabulously? Would they immediately despise each other? Would they fall in love and live happily for the rest of eternity?

Enter Meet Cute.

Even if you've never heard of Dave 'Gruber' Allen, you've probably seen him in something. He's played a bit part in more sitcoms than I can count with all my fingers and toes, but I know him best as Mr. Jeff Rosso on Freaks and Geeks, the well-meaning hippie guidance counselor. Fast forward a few years, and he plays the second troubadour on Gilmore Girls who I'm convinced is the same character, especially since he's never given a name. So, operating under the assumption that after the last episode of Freaks and Geeks, Mr. Rosso packed his bags, moved from Michigan to Connecticut, and took up farming and, well, troubadouring, I've I've recently begun shipping him with Phoebe Buffay.

I mean, can you even imagine all the hippie shenanigans they would get up to?

While Mike is the best thing that could have happened to Phoebe in the Friends universe, Jeff would be a much better match for her. Mike calms her down, makes her normal, but loves some of her quirks enough to let them be. Jeff would encourage her quirks--he'd be just as weird, and he'd let her be as she is. Self-consciousness wouldn't even cross her mind around him.

He would wear her weird, homemade jewelry. And he'd give her ideas and help her make the weirdest pieces.

She would respect his chill approach to life, and he would support her causes.

They would either help each other to not be flaky and dismissive, or they'd be totally okay with each other being that way. Because they'd understand it. They would understand each other as no two characters have ever understood each other before.

Rachel and Ross? Pfft. Phoebe and Jeff. All the way.

Phoebe: I didn't go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour
Jeff: Hey, no need to explain anything to me. I got it on in a van at Woodstock so I’m not judging anybody.
And when Phoebe doesn't even have a "pla," Jeff can step in. He is a guidance counselor, after all.

Plus, THEY WOULD SING TOGETHER. Those songs. Can you imagine those songs??

Individually, they come up with great lyrics. There's Jeff Rosso, troubadour minister:

And then, of course, there's Phoebe:

Your love is like a giant pigeon crapping on my heart. 
Whenever I get married, guess who won't be asked to sing! Somebody named Gellar and somebody else named Bing! 
Someday when you get older you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you, but don't! 'Cos that's another thing that you don't want to do. Everybody! That's another thing that you don't want to do.
Can't you just imagine Jeff Rosso jumping in on that last one, totally in favor of teaching children these valuable life lessons?

Jeff: I understand—you’ve just been through puberty, you guys are tall— I’m surprised you fit through that door, quite frankly. Okay? A lot of times you might see, maybe you’re taking a shower or something and you go, What are these? What’s that? But you feel alone and confused. And you don’t think anyone understands. Well. I do. Lots of people do.
Phoebe does, too. AND THEN THEY'D SING. So many songs. All the inappropriate songs. Literally everyone around them would be going,

Very informative!
Not at all inappropriate!
All the time.

They've both had interesting--to say the least--lives, and the songs that they would sing with that combined experience and combined weird brainpower... I can't even imagine it. It would be amazing.

And watching the two of them interact with society would be a comedy of errors to the highest degree. I would watch that show. 100%.

Would you ship these two?


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