If the promos for season three had you worried, never fear - it's probably worse than you thought.The episode opens with Murphy still in the bunker staring at a suicide video of the man who apparently destroyed the world with ALIE, his artificial intelligence creation. Before Murphy can escape the bunker, the emergency doors seal him in for a whopping eighty-six days without WiFi. Murphy consequently grows a beard, wraps himself in blankets, and takes wine baths. To each their own. When the door finally opens, he makes his way to the large, suspiciously dust-free plantation-style house where ALIE and Jaha have been comfortably staying while Murphy went nuts.
Exhausted from his solitude (???) Murphy collapses into Jaha's arms, and Jaha kindly gives him a bath and a shave (and somehow manages to get rid of the dreadlock mop Murphy acquired over four months) before Murphy wakes up and asks what the heck, man?
At Camp Jaha (nicely renamed Arkadia - I see what you did there, Bellamy), Bellamy and Lincoln have a delightfully six-pack-full fight to demonstrate how Lincoln can still beat Bellamy up. Bellamy then hands Lincoln an Ark jacket, because apparently Lincoln is now on the Team. What Team? I don't know what Team. The Arkadia Team. They have jackets.
Lincoln accepts the Team Jacket, but Bellamy isn't letting Lincoln accompany them in a sector search.
Lincoln: I can help
Bellamy: I can't have my world destroyed again
Lincoln: what how
Bellamy: You're my whole world bro
Bellamy then goes to ask Kane for permission to carry firearms into the sector. Kane says sure. They share a bonding moment where they both smile, and then Bellamy leaves.
Abby wakes up from her uncomfortable position on the couch, since she hasn't been sleeping and grabs it where she can, and starts talking about Clarke. Clarke is apparently very good at hide-and-seek, particularly the' hide' part. Kane tells her not to worry. Abby worries anyway.
Bellamy finds Monty and asks if he's ready to go. Monty is, sure, but Jasper is passed out under a table, because he's never really left the 'anger' stage of grief. They drag him to the car anyway (Why? Why not find someone else more capable?), and the gang is together - Bellamy, Monty, Miller, Raven, and…Jasper.
Bellamy says hi to a new girl who kisses him and hands him a copy of the Iliad because he's a nerd. If I didn't ship Bellarke so much I'd say keep her, Bell, but she's probably going to die, so maybe don't get too attached.
Bellamy gives guns to everyone except Jasper. Good call. Jasper then smacks Bellamy in the face. Bellamy handles it surprisingly well and packs everyone into the car for an unpleasant road trip, accompanied by Octavia on horseback.
It isn't as unpleasant as expected, however, since Monty apparently has a working iPod that plays only sad indie music, and after everyone gripes, they start singing at the top of their lungs about how sad they are. They have a great time.
Bellamy: These kids. *smiles*
Suddenly their scanner picks up a tracker beeping from another sector, so they switch courses and head toward it, thinking someone might be in trouble. (Which, considering the show, someone probably is.)Back with Jaha, Murphy is rightfully upset, and Jaha is sounding a lot like Mao. Freedom is an illusion! Blowing up the world was so great! Murphy goes 'lol nope' and leaves but ALIE assures Jaha he'll be back.
Back with Bellamy and the Kids, they reach the sector with the beeping. Apparently, the sector is also the border to the Ice Nation. Octavia warns everyone Winter is Coming, but Bellamy says, 'No fighting.' Two Ice Nation grounders approach and chat with Octavia in Grounderese. Octavia tells Bellamy they're looking for 'Wanheda,' whatever that is.
Jasper doesn't really care what's going on as long as he can explode at someone, so he picks a fight with a large Grounder. The Grounder puts a knife to Jasper's throat, which Jasper gets a kick out of, and then they have to kill the Grounders to save Jasper's currently pathetic life. Thanks for nothing, bro.
Kane and Indra show up and announce everyone is hunting Clarke, and her new name happens to be 'Wanheda.' Apparently Wanheda commands death, and if you kill Clarke, you also command death. #GrounderLogic
Bellamy: WE MUST GO SAVE HER
Bellamy: RESCUE MY SUN AND STARS
Bellamy: RIGHT NOW
Octavia rides back to Arkadia.Cut to Clarke killing a panther and displaying red hair. Cut back to Arkadia, where Octavia finds Lincoln and isn't happy with his new fashion sense because wearing the Team Jacket means he's giving up on everything.
Cut back to Clarke at a Grounder trading post, where she hands over the panther in exchange for supplies. Two Grounders come in, looking for Wanheda, but the Trading Post Girl tells them they're two days behind Wanheda. They give suspicious side-eyes to Clarke, who suspiciously tries to look not-suspicious. The Grounders leave.
Back at Arkadia, Abby tells Lincoln they want more supplies from Mount Weather. Lincoln says that's a terrible idea, you need breaks between runs to Mt. Weather or people will think you're colonizing it. Colonization = war. Abby dismisses him, then asks Raven how her hip is. GREAT, says Raven. LIAR, says Abby. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, says Raven. MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO BITTER YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGLE (AGAIN), says Abby. MAYBE IF YOU FOCUSED ON JOB A (Chancellor) OR JOB B (Doctor) INSTEAD OF BOTH, YOU'D STILL SUCK, says Raven, and leaves.
Back with Clarke, Trading Post Girl is taking care of the shoulder injury Clarke sustained during the panther kill. Clarke is vaguely relaxed and trying not to think about genocide. Trading Post Girl and Clarke sleep together. Because this is The CW, and if they can they will, and it doesn't need to make sense.
Meanwhile, at Arkadia...
Lincoln: Are you still mad?
Octavia: YOU JOINED A GANG OF COURSE I'M MAD
Lincoln: It's not a gang Octava it's your brother and his friends
Lincoln: You're not even a Grounder
Octavia: That's beside the point
Lincoln: Drat she's still mad
Meanwhile, Jaha and Lurch (seriously where did this person come from) find Murphy on the beach. COME WITH US JOHN, says Jaha. NOBODY CALLS ME JOHN, says Murphy. COME WITH US JOHN, says Jaha. NO, says Murphy. LOOK ABOUT KEEPING YOU LOCKED UP JOHN LET ME JUST SAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THAT IT WAS MY BAD, says Jaha. U SUCK, says Murphy.
TAKE THIS ROCK, says Jaha. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO TOMORROWLAND AND YOU WILL SEE THE CITY OF LIGHT WHERE NOTHING IS SAD.
THANKS BUT NO THANKS, says Murphy. I LIKE THE BITTER SARCASTIC ME.
A boat arrives, bearing none other than Emori and two Grounders. HELLO JOHN, says Emori.
WHEN DO WE LEAVE, says Murphy.
TOLD YOU, says ALIE.
Meanwhile back with the Arkadians, Shawn Mendes plays a piano from Mt. Weather, and Jasper tackles him because he hates music and that piano belonged to someone once. Everyone is shocked except the viewers.
Cut to Clarke exiting the trading post and getting nabbed by the Grounder Bounty Hunters, who weren't as stupid as they seemed. Meanwhile at the same moment, a car - holding Bellamy, Monty, Kane, and Indra - is facing a fallen tree.
IT'S A TRAP, says Indra. WE DON'T KNOW THAT, says Bellamy. Another tree falls behind them, effectively cutting off their escape route. OKAY, FINE, YOU'RE RIGHT, says Bellamy.
What are ALIE and Jaha up to?
Is Murphy going to join them, or are he and Emori going off on their own adventure?
Is Bellamy's new girlfriend doomed?
Has Lexa trapped Bellamy & Co, and if so, what does she want from them?
And of course, my burning inquiry since season two, WHERE IS THE MUTANT?