In Defense of Reylo: Part III

In my first two articles, I refuted the ten most common arguments lodged against the Reylo ship. This time I’ll be analyzing the positive aspects of the ship, explaining where it came from and how much chance it has of becoming canon. Trigger warning for abuse and brainwashing/grooming.

What Started This Ship and How Canon Is It?

One of the biggest things that began the Reylo ship, of course, is the great chemistry between the characters on-screen. There’s just such an intense storm of strength and vulnerability when they are together that isn’t there (or, at least, isn’t apparent) when they are with other people. They bring something out of each other that others don’t. And it wasn’t just the fangirls who felt it. Even Time Magazine wrote:

In one of the movie’s finest moments, Ren—unmasked and intense—engages Rey in a major stare-down, an unholy duel between the light side of the Force and the dark. The sexual energy between them is strange and unsettling, like a theremin sonata only they can hear.

What’s more, it is not a coincidence that so many people have sensed this chemistry and connection between them. Even the script itself confirms the characters feel something in each other that goes beyond enmity. It says:

Kylo Ren nearly TOUCHES HER FACE... THEY'RE BOTH SURPRISED: they react to a feeling that passes between them -- AN ENERGY THEY RECOGNIZE IN EACH OTHER. And then it's gone. Adversaries again.

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It is interesting to note that the The Force Awakens novelization (which is officially canon material) delves even further into their connection than the film does. And it’s made clear that there is more going on between them than meets the eye. That they share either some history or some destiny with each other. It says:

     Having circled her, he moved even closer, peering into her face, her eyes. Then the red lightsaber he held came up: close to her flesh, close enough to cast a red glow on her skin.
     “Something.” He sounded mystified. “There is something…Who are you?”

     Switching off his own weapon, Ren extended an arm toward the device lying in the snow. It twitched and then began to vibrate as the Force called to it. Stretching out his hand farther, straining, Ren beckoned powerfully—and the lightsaber rose, to come bulleting toward his outstretched fingers.
     And past them.
     Taken aback, he whirled—to see the weapon land in the hand of a girl standing by a tree. Rey appeared equally shocked that her reach for the device had exceeded his. She gazed down at the weapon now resting in her grip.
     “It is you,” Ren murmured.
     His words unsettled her: Not for the first time, he seemed to know more about her than she did about herself.

It is not known for sure whether or not Rey has any romantic feelings toward Kylo. Personally, I think either she views him solely as a nemesis at this point or she does have some secret feelings for him that she doesn’t want to acknowledge – and won’t acknowledge unless and until he is redeemed (smart move).

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However, romantic feelings or not, the novelization makes it clear that she is drawn to him for some reason:

A look of amazement replaced the fear on Rey’s face as she discovered herself inside his mind. Stunned at the realization, she found herself inexorably drawn to—to… “You,” she heard herself saying clearly, “you’re afraid. That you will never be as strong as—Darth Vader!”

And there are plenty more interesting interactions between her and Kylo that lead me to believe their connection is important, as is their journey in understanding one another. One example is the scene where Kylo first takes off his mask – an act that has been noted to be of great importance and vulnerability for Kylo. Rey has this preconceived perception of him – a picture of this monster, this heartless and faceless person. And she protects herself with that image. She can do and say anything to this image. She can loathe this person. She can see him as a cruel dictator, she can see him as a little piece of dirt on her shoe. She can see him as an object to yell at and throw hate at. (All of which she is well within her rights to do, of course, given what he’s done.) But then he takes off the mask – and now he's a person. And not just a person but an equal. Someone with a face that can even look kind. Perhaps someone who has the capability to actually be kind. She looks into his mind and sees something that fascinates her, something weak, frightened. Something that was once good and that can perhaps be good again. And everything she has – her image of what he is, what she's fighting against, and even who she is in some ways, immediately melts away.

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Despite the questions surrounding Rey’s feelings for Kylo Ren, his feelings for her are far more clear. Everything from the little details – picking her up and carrying her bridal-style into his ship, to the larger plot points – abandoning his good tactical sense by calling off the search for the droid, determined to get the map from Rey instead – point to the fact that he is intrigued by her.  He also proves time and again that he cares for her well being. While he reveled in his harshness when dealing with previous prisoners like Poe, he insists on treating Rey like a guest during his interrogation of her. He is purposely honest with her about her friends, avoids subjects that he thinks will make her uncomfortable, tries to avoid using a mind probe on her to get the information he needs, and when that doesn’t work, uses the mind probe as painlessly as he can.

“You mean the traitors, murderers, and thieves you call friends? Consider carefully now: I could easily tell you they were all killed, righteously slain in battle. But I would prefer to be honest with you from the beginning. You will be relieved to hear that as far as their current status and well-being is concerned—I have no idea.”

“Is it true?” he finally asked. “You’re just a scavenger?” She didn’t respond, and, perhaps sensing her embarrassment, he changed the subject. “Tell me about the droid.” 

He rose, resigned. “I would have preferred to avoid this. Despite what you may believe, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easily as possible—but I will take what I need.”

(Source: The Force Awakens novelization)

(Source: Brian Kesinger)

What’s more, this is not something he’s faking to confuse her or simply get her to cooperate. It’s genuine. This is proven later in the novelization during his conversation with Snoke. Kylo purposely downplays Rey’s importance in an attempt to protect her from Snoke. Snoke doesn’t fall for it, realizes Kylo has feelings for Rey that he shouldn’t have, and (though she escapes before he gets the chance) decides to use Rey to punish Kylo.

“That’s all she is, yes. A scavenger from that inconsequential Jakku. Completely untrained, but strong with the Force. Stronger than she knows.” His mask off, Ren replied with what seemed to be his usual assurance. No one else would have sensed a difference. Snoke did.
The Supreme Leader’s voice was flat. “You have compassion for her.”
“No—never. Compassion? For an enemy of the Order?”
“I perceive the problem,” Snoke intoned. “It isn’t her strength that is making you fail. It’s your weakness.” 

“Kylo Ren. It appears that a reminder is in order. So I will show you the dark side. Bring the girl to me.”

(Source: The Force Awakens novelization)

Even during his own lightsaber battle with Rey at the end of the film, Kylo fights to disarm her and not to kill her. In fact, his main wish is to get her on his side.

Ren held his lightsaber, poised to strike. “I could kill you right now. But there is another way.”
Breathing hard, Rey looked up in disgust at the man looming above her. “You’re a monster.”
“No. You need a teacher.” He was beseeching and insistent all at once. “I can show you the ways of the Force!”

(Source: The Force Awakens novelization)

From the way this is worded, many have speculated that Kylo could even wish to show Rey the Force apart from Snoke and the Dark Side.

(Source)

Most interesting of all, though, is a scene in Rey’s vision after she first comes into contact with Luke’s old lightsaber. In it, it shows what appears to be Kylo Ren saving Rey, killing one of his own fellow Knights of Ren who is about to take Rey’s life. After much analysis of the characters, costumes, weapons, and more, most fans believe this part of the vision is prophetic and not a memory. Which means Kylo Ren will most likely save Rey from one of his own people in an upcoming Star Wars film.

It must be pointed out that, as a Foe Yay ship, Reylo is already canon. All that is required of a Foe Yay ship is that two nemeses be drawn to each other in some way other than just enmity, and that’s already been established between Rey and Kylo in-canon. A Villainous Crush on Kylo’s part is also most likely already canon. The only question that leaves is, will it be canon as a traditional romance post-redemption? There’s no way to answer that for sure at this point, of course, but it is possible. Especially since canon has established Rey is drawn to him for some reason. Whether that means she will return his feelings one day or if it means they are connected in some other way, we will have to wait and see. Either way, the narrative is trying to tell us their relationship is important. And when it comes right down to it, that’s what’s really important. That’s why, I think, Reylo is already canon enough. It’s not so much about whether they kiss at the end (although that would be amazing!) but about their connection as characters. Anything else is just icing on the cake. Though I do suspect there will be plenty more icing to enjoy in future films.

The Redemption Arc

The majority of Reylo shippers want Rey to play a large role in Kylo Ren’s redemption, and a lot of people looking in from the outside seem unsure of what that means. Many seem to think that we hope Rey will fall head over heels for Kylo, ignore everything bad he’s ever done, and beg him to come over to the good side so they can be together. But, while it’s possible things may change later, I find that scenario unlikely at this point given that most of the romantic feelings (or whatever it is that’s drawing them together) is one sided on Kylo’s part. As we established, Rey feels something for him, but her dedication to the Resistance and the light side of the Force comes first. And that’s what we want. In fact, that may actually be exactly what redeems Kylo Ren.

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Kylo Ren’s arc so far is set up in a very interesting way so that the better Rey is and the more she resists and defeats him the more likely he is to see the light. I’m not talking about Rey intriguing him by playing hard to get or transforming him with the purity of her soul. I’m talking about the fact that Snoke’s brainwashing is built on the idea that all Resistance fighters and Jedis are evil, weak, incompetent, and too sentimental to accomplish anything. So if a Resistance fighter or Jedi is good, strong, competent, and puts their mission before their own emotions, that will fly in the face of everything Kylo Ren’s beliefs – about others and himself – have been built on. As my favorite Reylo meta says:

The way you reach [Kylo Ren] is not through emotional pleas (sentimentality is something he’s been trained to hate for years) but through upending the world as he understands it. He is prepared to resist his family’s lies, he is prepared to take what he wants from the violent resistance, he is prepared to cut down weak light side users who won’t even defend themselves.
What he isn’t prepared for is a light side user stronger in the force than he, untrained (unsullied by either Snoke OR Luke), full of anger, a girl who wants to kill him but doesn’t, who spares his life not because she is full of weak sentiment but because she makes an unprovoked choice to do so, because it simply feels right to her, because she resists the dark instinctively. She untangles everything he thinks he knows about the force and his place within it, and it’s so alarming that he can’t kill her. He just cut down his own father and he can’t figure out what to do about her.
That is what people mean when they say Rey will be part of his redemption arc. She is so complicated and so fascinating and so new to him that her every action seems to shake him to his core, in a way that not even Star Wars’ greatest weapon of familial love could do. She is something else, she is not the enemy he’s heard about, she scarred him as she spared him, she made sure he remembered her and her rage.
Who is she? Everything that makes him weak makes her strong. Everything he has abandoned is what she wants most. Kylo has been trained to see everything backwards, but clearly, everything in a neat box. His family is cruel, the light is weak. he can’t find a place for Rey at all. He won’t be able to think about anyone else until he understands what she is. And if she exists–someone lonely and desperate and angry but good all the same, and stronger than he could have imagined–then what else has Kylo gotten wrong? About himself? About Snoke? About everything?

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Rey doesn’t need to do anything to redeem Kylo Ren. Technically, she doesn’t even need to love or care about him. Just by being a good fighter, she could help him see the light and give him the tools to save himself.

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Having said that, I also believe it’s unlikely Rey will remain apathetic about Kylo Ren. Though it’s not necessary for her to love him or purposely try to save him in order for her to play a huge part in his redemption, I do think that trying to redeem him will become part of her personal mission at some point. We need to consider that she is drawn to him for some reason. But even if it weren’t for that, Rey would at least want him saved for the sake of Han and Leia. Han was like a father figure to her, and the last thing he did before he died – literally the cause he died for – was try to bring his son back to the light. Leia is already on her way to becoming like family to Rey, and she wants her son redeemed. Kylo is one of the few people left in the universe whom she really loves. And the last thing she said to her husband before he was gone forever was to bring back their son. If Rey truly cares about these people as I know she does, I have a hard time believing that Ben Solo’s redemption means nothing to her. That all she’ll ever want to do is cut him down. I think at some point, just like Han and Leia, she’ll want to bring Ben home.

(Source: general-pooky.tumblr.com)

The Themes and Parallels of Reylo

Ask any Reylo fan why they love their ship, and they won’t be able to help telling you the many parallels and contrasts between the characters. From similarities in costumes, parallels in lighting and art direction, possible themes in choreography, the fact that each wants what the other has (Rey wanting the loving family that Kylo gave up, and Kylo wanting her peace of mind and stable use of the Force), the fact that his lightsaber and her staff mirror each other on the poster, and more, it seems the makers of the new Star Wars trilogy are really trying to emphasize the connection between these two characters. What’s more, there are hundreds of possible themes the story could explore through the ship. There’s the obvious themes of forgiveness and redemption. There’s the fact that, if Kylo came to the light side for Rey, it would be a reverse of the relationship between Anakin and Padme. If the theories are true about Rey being a Kenobi, her redeeming Kylo would symbolically tie up the loose ends of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship, since Obi-Wan was killed by his old friend and never got to see his redemption. Or, if the theories are right about Rey being a reincarnated Anakin Skywalker, it could explore how Kylo would deal with meeting his hero in such an unexpected way. Most importantly, though, is how their relationship relates to and mirrors the light and dark sides of the Force.

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A huge theme in Star Wars, and one which the filmmakers have said they are going to focus on in this new trilogy, is the need to balance the Force and the co-dependent yin/yang nature of its light and dark sides. A lot of people think the light side equals good and the dark side equals bad. But, while that has been the case in the specific characters we’ve usually met in the films, it’s actually far more complicated. In fact, instead of each side being purely good or evil,  good comes from the balance of both sides, and evil comes from leaning more toward one side than the other. With such an expansive canon, there are, of course, many different takes and contradictions on just what exactly these sides stand for. But looking at it as a whole, it seems the light side of the Force is basically introversion and valuing ideals over people. It’s about the self. Self-focus, self-reliance, self-growth, and the quiet virtues like inner peace, calmness, patience, obedience, and perseverance. Meanwhile, the dark side of the Force is basically extroversion and valuing power and people over ideals. It’s about energy and passion. It’s about passionately loving and desiring. Taking all your feelings and using them to fuel the fire of your determination. It’s about forming strong goals, and ensuring nothing can stand in your way. Getting out there and taking all you can take, being all you can be, realizing your full potential. Leaning too far toward either of these sides creates an extreme. A balance between both is needed – both for the individual so they can become a whole and healthy person and for the universe so that these co-dependent sides no longer needlessly war against each other.

The main problem in the Star Wars universe is that the Force is not balanced yet. Every problem that arises in the stories stems from this fact. Wars are fought and won, victories are celebrated. But more battles arise as time goes on, and peace is never permanent because the Force is still unbalanced. In the old EU, and beginning in the original trilogy itself, it is Luke who eventually finds that balance, both on a personal and universal level. Luke is an extrovert who places people before ideals and is driven by passion and excitement to seek adventure and become somebody important in the wide universe – the very definition of the dark side of the Force. However, he joins up with the light side of the Force instead. He chooses to learn the traits and virtues that side has to offer. He trains under Yoda (a character overly on the light side, which is part of why Yoda doesn’t fully trust Luke. He can sense the dark side traits in him). But Luke also continues to make his own decisions rather than act in absolute obedience to Yoda. He keeps his dark side traits rather than replacing them with light side traits as Yoda would wish. Luke acquires what he needs from the light side. But when Yoda tries to keep Luke’s focus inward – to keep training and growing – rather than outward on his friends who are in trouble, Luke chooses to help his friends instead. When Yoda tells him that a desire for adventure is a negative trait, Luke still keeps that excitement in his heart. And later on, Luke abandons the Jedi principle of non-attachment when he falls in love and marries Mara Jade. He is not entirely loyal to the ideals of any specific side but instead learns what he needs to and does what he has to in order to bring about the most good. At one point, he even willingly becomes the “evil apprentice” of the newly reincarnated Emperor Palpatine in order to get close enough to him to destroy him once and for all. Luke knows how to dance the line between light and dark, and he passes that on to his students. Luke creates a brand new kind of Jedi, which ultimately balances the Force. The old EU, however, is no longer canon and the new canon has decided to do something different with Luke. And instead, they have chosen to make Rey the one who will eventually balance the Force.

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Rey, at this point, symbolizes the light side of the Force. She embodies the traits that the light side values – being self-focused, self-reliant, hard-working, waiting patiently and obediently in solitude as she thinks she’s supposed to. At the same time, she is also enticed by dark side traits – wanting to reach out and connect to people she can feel passionately about (such as Finn and Han), wanting to go on adventures and see the beauty of the universe she never got to see on her dull home world. However, because she is so overly on the light side, she is too unbalanced to be able to do those things at this point. When Finn takes her hand as if trying to rescue her, Rey balks at it because it goes against her self-reliance. She does this again when Han tries to teach her how to use a gun. When Han offers her a job to go adventuring with him, she turns him down, saying she must go back to patiently and obediently waiting on her home world. And when Luke’s lightsaber calls to her, she again turns it down for the same reasons. Her light side traits are so strong, she is unable to fulfill her own destiny. She needs to connect to her dark side traits if she is going to become what she needs to be.

On the other hand, Kylo Ren represents the dark side. He is all fire and passion and determination with a love for other people – for his parents – that he can’t shake no matter what desperate measures he goes to. What makes Kylo an especially interesting character is how backwards he is. How it is, ironically, his dark side traits that stop him from becoming a full-fledged dark side villain. If he ever wants to become more than what he is (for better or for worse), he will have to reach out to the light side and acquire its traits – calmness, inner peace, and obedience.

So, what we have are two characters who represent the light side and the dark side, each fascinated by and needful of the other side. If they were to come together, not only would they each become whole and balanced people, they would also bring balance to the force on a personal and universal level.

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This is my defense of Reylo, my rebuttals to the charges laid against it, and my points in favor of it. Whether or not you ultimately end up shipping it, hopefully this series has at least helped you better understand the ship and the people who love it. I’m very excited to see where the franchise will take these fascinating characters, and all of us Reylo shippers will keep our fingers crossed. In the meantime, we’d love to know your feelings on the ship. Are you a Reylo shipper? Do you think it will become canon? Let us know in the comments!

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In Defense of Reylo: Part II

In the first installment of this three-part article series on Reylo, I attempted to debunk half the arguments commonly raised against the ship. In today’s article, I will tackle the remaining five. Trigger warning for misogyny, shootings, terrorism, abuse, and brainwashing/grooming. 

6. “Shipping anyone with Kylo Ren is wrong because he’s a misogynist/gatekeeper/emo man-baby whose mindset is similar to that of a Red Piller or school shooter.”

Let’s just say I’ve seen Kylo Ren accused of being many things. For those of you scratching your head at some of those terms, the gist of the argument is basically this: Kylo Ren is an immature little brat, and the reason why he does bad things is because he’s a petty drama queen who holds grudges over dumb things people did to him as a kid/teen, and now he’s taking his anger out on innocent people. And if we like him as a character, want him to be redeemed, or ship him with anyone, we’re ignoring/excusing his actions and therefore giving validation to people who do similar things in real life, such as school shooters or Red Pillers (men who blame all women for the fact they can’t get/keep a girlfriend).

Here’s the problem: that’s not who Kylo Ren is. It may be fun to read the Emo Kylo Ren account on Twitter, and browse the many fan-made pictures on Tumblr that show him complaining about how he’s “misunderstood” because his parents tell him to turn down the MCR song he’s blasting or freaking out when girls don’t find his Darth Vader obsession as attractive as he does or vowing to get revenge on all his friends and family because they refuse to buy him hair conditioner.

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But there is nothing in canon that indicates his villainy is, in any way, motivated by petty teenage angst. It’s just not there. And what is there indicates something very different. I would even go so far as to say Kylo Ren isn’t really the villain. Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t completely blameless. And his narrative position is that of a villain. That is, his actions are harmful and benefit the evil side, the suffering others have experienced because of him is valid and important. And for the sake of the universe’s safety he will ultimately have to be stopped – either via redemption, imprisonment, or death. I’m not denying any of that. However, on a personal level, Kylo Ren is not the villain. Snoke is. And Kylo Ren is a victim of Snoke, as is every person Kylo Ren has hurt.

Stay with me here. Let me explain. I’m not going all “unreasonable fangirl” on you. I’m not going to argue that Kylo Ren “has so many struggles! So many feels! Poor conflicted (attractive) baby boy is probz just misunderstood. :( ” I’m not just taking everything Kylo Ren has done and randomly tacking it onto Snoke so I can avoid calling my favorite character a bad guy. Instead, I’m referring to a very important part of canon that many people are either accidentally missing or purposely pushing out of their minds. I’m referring to the fact that it was strongly insinuated in the film itself, discussed in several behind the scenes interviews, and stated outright in canon books that Snoke groomed and brainwashed Kylo Ren since infancy, using religious indoctrination, into believing that the dark side is actually the good side, and that the light side is both evil and weak. That his family members and their comrades are actually evil people – terrorists – who need to be defeated in order for justice and goodness to truly prevail.

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Kylo Ren thinks he’s on the good side. And I don’t mean in the way all villains smugly think their way is the “right” way. His status as a villain is circumstantial and not necessarily due to any real evil within him. He is not like characters such as Loki who is motivated by ambition and bitterness and takes it out on innocent people (and who, interestingly, most people have no problem wishing redemption for). He is far more similar to characters like Bucky Barnes, who have been used and abused and twisted unknowingly into “bad guys” by the true villains. Although he suspects Snoke views him as disposable, Kylo still believes in the rightness of the ideals Snoke has brainwashed him into believing are truly moral.

The fact that this is the case has been confirmed and insinuated numerous times in canon material. I don’t have room in this article to show them all. However, I will show a few. The Force Awakens novelization says:

     He met her eyes steadily. "We've lost our son forever."
     Leia bit her lower lip, refusing to concede. "No. It was Snoke."
     Han drew back slightly. "Snoke?"
     She nodded. "He knew our child would be strong with the Force. That he was born with equal potential for good and evil."
     "You knew this from the beginning? Why didn't you tell me?"
     She sighed. "Many reasons. I was hoping that I was wrong, that it wasn't true. I hoped I could sway him, turn him away from the dark side, without having to involve you." A small smile appeared. "You had–you have–wonderful qualities, Han, but patience and understanding were never among them. I was afraid that your reactions would only drive him farther to the dark side. I thought I could shield him from Snoke's influence and you from what was happening." Her voice dropped. "It's clear now that I was wrong. Whether your involvement would have made a difference, we'll never know."
     He had trouble believing what he was hearing. "So Snoke was watching our son."
     "Always," she told him. "From the shadows, in the beginning, even before I realized what was happening, he was manipulating everything, pulling our son toward the dark side..."

It is worth noting that the novelization also says the scene where Kylo takes off his mask on the bridge is the first time Han has seen his son's face as an adult. This means Kylo Ren would have to have been very young when Snoke brought him to the dark side – too young to make an informed, adult decision. There was much more going on than first meets the eye.

Then there are these quotes by the actor of Kylo Ren, Adam Driver:

We did not think of Kylo Ren as bad, or evil, or a villain and tried to make something that was more three dimensional. That to me seemed more dangerous and more unpredictable, someone who feels morally justified in doing whatever they need to to publicly state that what they’re doing is right. It seemed something more active to play than just being evil for the sake of it.

(Source)

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What’s more, Kylo Ren displays his backwards view of who’s good and who’s evil in the things he says. Unlike most villains who attempt to insult the heroes by calling them self-righteous idealists, Kylo Ren calls the Star Wars heroes “traitors, murderers, and thieves” and appears to believe these labels are accurate. He also seems to find it surprising that Rey hates the First Order and wants to kill him. In The Force Awakens novelization, he says to her:

…I should be the one who should be scared. You shot first. You speak of the Order as if it were barbaric. And yet, it is I who was forced to defend myself against you.

And for even more information about all of this, you can click here and here.

It’s true that Kylo Ren has harmed and killed innocent people. But we have to remember that he doesn’t know these people are innocent. He’s been deceived into believing these people either are villains or harbourers and sympathizers of such people. And if you think about it, he hasn’t done anything that most western countries haven’t done to those they deem criminals and terrorists, or that heroes of pretty much any franchise haven’t done to their enemies in order to win the battle in favor of what they believed was good.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you were born into a family who was part of some terrorist group. You grew up with their ideology, so it seemed normal to you. Then someone showed you the light – showed you the kind of people your family really are. This person takes you away from your family, trains you to fight dangerous and evil people like them, and sends you on a mission to rid the universe of such people so that peace and justice will finally prevail. Because you want to do the right thing, you are determined to succeed in this mission. And yet you are conflicted. Because, even though you know your family is evil, you still care about them, and you can’t stop. And so you go to desperate measures to rid yourself of this needless sentimentality that only gets in the way of your destiny. In this situation, wouldn’t defeating your family despite your feelings for them be the right thing to do?

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This isn’t the situation Kylo Ren is in. But this is the situation Kylo Ren has been led to believe he’s in, and he’s had very little opportunity to find out otherwise. As viewers, we see him hurting our beloved heroes, striking down his own father – a character we know and love – and it stirs up our emotions, causing us to want to view him as evil and heartless. But when you remove the emotion and look at it objectively, you see something very different. Kylo Ren has been placed in a false world that is very real to him. And in that world, our heroes genuinely look like villains who need to be shot down, and fan favorite Han Solo looks like a dangerous criminal who needs to be stopped despite any familial emotions that try to cloud Kylo's judgment.

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We live in a world where Luke Skywalker was a hero who showed his father love and was himself spared because of it. Kylo Ren lives in a world where Luke Skywalker was a terrorist who was allowed to continue in his criminal activity because he appealed to the one weakness of the otherwise great hero Darth Vader. On the surface, Kylo Ren looks like a villain trying to extinguish what little good is left in him. But under the surface, is an abused and confused boy trying to do what’s right when it is actually wrong – “To,” as The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary says, “succeed where Darth Vader and his sentimentality failed.”

(Source: anjael.tumblr.com)

It’s important to remember that abuse and bad ideology can lead good people to do bad things. And while that doesn’t completely excuse them for everything they’ve done or erase the fact that they need to be stopped, it is important to take these things into account when analyzing a fictional character’s motivation and figuring out where the narrative ultimately needs to take their story arc. Fiction is not like real life in that all that matters is the end result or what must be done to fix the problem and save the day. Fiction is also meant to be a meaningful exploration of humans and their motives. And understanding the true nature of Kylo Ren’s character is vital to understanding not only the Reylo ship, but everything we want for his character in the new trilogy.

7. “Rey should never be with Kylo Ren, nor should he be redeemed, because Kylo Ren doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”

This is another argument different people say for different reasons. Sometimes the reason people give this argument is because of Rey. “Rey is not so weak that she would just forgive everything Kylo Ren has done. Why are women always expected to be ‘good little girls’ and forgive the people who hurt them? Why aren’t women allowed to have their anger? Why do men think they are entitled to forgiveness?”

First of all, it genuinely terrifies me to see something like forgiveness be framed as something sexist and problematic (especially in reference to someone who has been literally brainwashed and abused?). And I mean, maybe I’m biased since this is the very principle my religion was built on, but I’m pretty sure forgiveness has nothing to do with its recipient “deserving” anything. If someone “deserved” forgiveness, they probably wouldn’t really need to be forgiven in the first place. And forgiving someone does not make you “weak”. Is God (whether you view him as a real being or a fictional character like Rey) “weak” when he forgives the millions of people he himself admits don’t deserve it? Forgiveness is and always will be powerful and liberating. It’s about letting go of your pain, defining yourself not by what people have done to you in the past but by what you choose to do right now. What’s more, it is not, in any way, a gendered action. And portraying it as some patriarchal cage is just dishonest and harmful. I’m sure there are people out there who have been pressured to forgive others and even been told to take someone back when they didn’t want to. But that isn’t what we’re talking about when we say we want Rey to forgive Kylo Ren. If Rey forgives Kylo, it will be because she, an independent person, chooses to do so of her own free will. Not because people expect or pressure her to do so or because she wants to be a “good little girl.”

(Source: holepsi.tumblr.com)

There is also an enormous difference between once again forgiving and taking back an abuser who claims he is “sorry” when he's not really and is going to go back to abusing you when he has the chance versus forgiving someone who has gone through a legitimate change of heart and repentance process. Before any forgiveness or genuine romantic relationship with Rey is going to happen, Kylo Ren’s redemption and repentance will need to be both genuine and realistic. And if the filmmakers go that route, it obviously will be? I mean, this is Star Wars we’re talking about. It’s not like Kylo Ren is just suddenly going to go, “Ummm okay, I decided to stop being bad? So, yeah. I’m on the good side now. Y’all forgive me?” and everyone else is going to say, “Omigosh, of course! All those people you tortured and killed? Outta sight, outta mind. I’m just glad to see you back again!” That isn’t going to happen. If they go the redemption route, it’s going to be blood, sweat, tears, and joy. It’s going to be pain and ugliness and beauty. It’s going to be a big deal. This would be, after all, bringing Han and Leia’s son back home. And repentance and forgiveness are both vital to that. Not just forgiveness from Rey, but from Leia, Luke, the viewers, as well as Kylo Ren learning to forgive himself.

(Source: injureddreams.tumblr.com)

It must also be pointed out that Rey killing Kylo instead of having Kylo Ren be redeemed and forgiven would be a bad move for plot reasons. Why? Because, in the Star Wars universe, killing your nemesis rather than redeeming them is stepping onto the path toward the dark side. Luke stayed on the light side because he did all he could to save his father, rather than give into the Emperor’s temptations to strike him down. If you want to stay on the light side of the Force, killing your enemy is the last thing you should do. And it has already been canonically confirmed that this also holds true for Rey. In the TFA script, it says:

And she could kill him — right now, with ONE VICIOUS STRIKE! But she stops. Realizing she stands on a greater edge than even the cliff — the edge of the dark side. 

And in The Force Awakens novelization, it says:

     One downward cut, she saw. One quick, final strike, and she could kill him. The landing lights of a shuttle appeared in the distance, coming over the trees in her direction. She had to make a decision, now.
     Kill him, a voice inside her head said. It was amorphous, unidentifiable, raw. Pure vengeful emotion.
     So easy, she told herself. So quick.
     She recoiled from it. From the dark side.

It has also been noticed by fans that, in the audio version of the book, the “amorphous, unidentifiable, raw” voice she hears telling her to kill Kylo sounds suspiciously like Snoke’s voice. Which means killing Kylo Ren might not just be the path to the dark side but the path Snoke himself is actively trying to manipulate Rey into taking. Rey will need to do something to try to stop Kylo Ren somehow. And if killing him is out of the question, redemption is the only other available path.

(Source: winterofherdiscontent.tumblr.com)

Those are my rebuttals for when this argument is used because of Rey. Other times, people give this argument because of Kylo Ren. They say, “Kylo Ren is a bad person. Just because a bunch of teenage girls find him attractive and like his character, that doesn’t mean he deserves a redemption arc. Sorry to break it to you, but some people die evil. Some people need to be defeated. And why care so much for some evil brat like Kylo when you could be caring about, you know, the main heroes?”

What these people fail to see is how antithetical this attitude is to Star Wars' overall narrative, and just how important Kylo Ren’s redemption really is. It’s not just something we fangirls want because we think he’s attractive or even because we like his character. It’s because of the themes of the story. Star Wars is a space fairy tale. It works within a narrative of happy endings and the hope in wishing for the impossible. The overall message of Episodes I-VI was that anyone, no matter how far they have fallen, can come back to the light. It focused on the Skywalker family line, starting by showing the goodness of young Anakin Skywalker, chronicling his fall to the dark side as he got older, and ending with his return to grace before death. When the main point of the original trilogy was that Darth Vader was redeemed, it is even more important Kylo Ren is redeemed. Kylo Ren is the culmination of Anakin and Luke’s stories. He is the Skywalker heir. And this being the final trilogy, Episodes VII-IX form the culmination of the entire Star Wars narrative. Whatever message Episode IX gives us, it will not only be the message for the new trilogy but the overall message of Star Wars itself. Do you really want that final message to be “Yes, Kylo is the heir of Anakin Skywalker. And yes, he was abused and manipulated into going to the dark side, and that's sad. But in real life, not everyone gets redeemed in the end, and sometimes people just die evil. What can you do? Life sucks, deal with it”? What do you think this is? DC Comics? Save it for your grimdark gritty realism stories. As Lewis Carrol would say, “It shall not touch, with breath of bale, the pleasance of our fairy tale.” Here in the Star Wars fandom, we take pride in our happily ever afters. #BringBenHome

(Source: mamonna.tumblr.com)

Although, this could change later in the trilogy (I expect Kylo to get a lot worse before he gets better) Kylo Ren is, even under brainwashing, a lot less evil than his grandfather and role model, Darth Vader. He still has a strong moral code and respect for life. Unlike Darth Vader, who strangled anyone nearby without a qualm whenever he got upset, Kylo Ren usually tries to take his massive temper out on inanimate objects. And while Darth Vader was all for blowing up planets with his Death Star, Kylo Ren was against Snoke and Hux destroying planets with their death star; he wanted to stop them but had no power to do so. What’s more, although it was under tragic circumstances, Anakin Skywalker became the evil Darth Vader knowingly, of his own free will. If we can root for redemption for Darth Vader, surely we can root for the same with Kylo Ren, who became less evil and under circumstances of deception and brainwashing.

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8. “If Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed by someone, shouldn’t it be his mother Leia? Or even his uncle Luke? Not Rey.” 

I know, I know. *sigh* When will we silly fangirls realize family is far more important than our shallow desire for romance? Seriously though, I don’t believe romantic love is more important than familial love. But vice versa, I don’t believe familial love is more important than romantic love. I think all the different forms of human relationships can be equally valid and powerful. And some of the people making this argument might be unfairly dismissing romance as more shallow or weak than it really is. Having said that, I get why some people would rather have Kylo Ren redeemed by his own mother or uncle instead of some new girl outside the family. But there are two big reasons why I don’t think the filmmakers will go that route.

First of all, Leia and Luke have already tried and failed to redeem Kylo Ren. Leia spent the entirety of his childhood years trying to stop Snoke’s influence to no avail. She then sent him to Luke to see if he could redeem him, and that ended in disaster. So when she sent Han out to bring Ben home, it was one last attempt to have someone do what she knew neither she nor Luke could do. So how would Leia or Luke redeeming Kylo Ren now make sense? If Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed, that redemption has to come from a place that hasn’t been tried before. It has to come from someone new.

(Source: screenrant.com)

Second of all, the Star Wars producers have made it very clear that they do not want the original trilogy characters to take any of the attention away from the new trio. One of the biggest reasons Luke’s role was so small in TFA was that they had to keep cutting the scenes they wrote for him because it kept stealing the spotlight away from Rey and the others. The original trio is there for one main purpose: to step down from the main stage and hand the reigns to the new characters. I think expecting Leia or Luke to redeem the main “villain” of the series is expecting too much from characters who are purposely being sidelined. It’s much more likely to be done by one of the new main characters. And since Rey is the one out of the new trio that Kylo Ren has the strongest connection with, she is the most likely candidate.

9. “Having Rey redeem Kylo Ren would play into the tired, misogynistic trope where women are ~pure~ beings who can magically cure evil men with just the wholesomeness of their love.”

In part three of this article series, I will get more into the particulars of how Rey redeeming Kylo Ren would most likely play out. But – spoiler alert – it looks nothing like that. Human beings affect other human beings when they spend any amount of time – positive or negative – together. And considering there are a thousand and one ways one person can help redeem another person without it having anything to do with the “purity” of their gender, I’m not sure why so many anti-Reylo folks think this is the most likely way the ship would turn out or that this is how most Reylo shippers would even want it to turn out.

I mean, I understand there’s probably some shippers around the internet somewhere writing fanfics and meta portraying it with such a shallow outcome. But you do realize shallow fanfics exist online for every ship, yeah? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen fanfics about Batman randomly giving up his crime fighting and skipping merrily into the moonlight with the Joker. How many times I saw shippers of my previous OTP, Zutara, portray Katara as magically healing all the angst and potential evil out of her “poor, misunderstood boyfriend” Zuko. It happens in all of my ships, it happens in all of your ships. But for all of the shallow shippers, there’s an equal or greater amount of shippers who want the relationship to play out realistically.

(Source: verauko.deviantart.com)

 And honestly, this ~magical healing powers of female purity~ thing is really the least likely way Rey could help redeem Kylo Ren. If being a woman is so magical and pure in the Star Wars universe, how does someone like Captain Phasma exist? And why wasn’t Kylo Ren’s morality improved by being in her presence? Or if only affectionate, moral females count, why didn’t the years of Leia’s motherly efforts to redeem her darling son work out? Clearly, it takes a lot more than magical female purity to bring Kylo Ren back from the dark side. Which makes sense as, like I said in the past, Star Wars is not a fanfic or poorly written YA novel. This really is not something to be concerned about.

10. “Rey is a powerful character. She doesn’t deserve to have her story overshadowed by Kylo’s redemption arc nor would she give up her own goals just to chase after him because she feels sorry for him/wants to save him.”

First of all, if anyone in this ship is getting sidetracked from their goals due to their feelings for the other, it’s Kylo Ren (more on this in part three). When Reylo shippers say they want Rey to help redeem Kylo Ren, they are not suggesting she becomes suddenly blindly infatuated, drops everything, and throws herself at his feet. Rey isn’t the type of person to ever do that. If she was, we wouldn’t be shipping her with Kylo Ren. She is a powerful character, and she is not going to become any less powerful by trying to help someone or by stopping a villain through redemption instead of death.

(Source: mamonna.tumblr.com)

The fact that so many people are equating a woman helping someone she loves with weakness is…concerning to say the least.

Let me give you a hypothetical example. Let’s say, in a future Star Wars movie, all of the characters want Rey to kill Kylo Ren. But at this point, Rey has grown to care about Kylo Ren very much. She doesn’t want to kill him and is desperate to redeem him instead. So desperate that she even risks her own safety by going to him to beg him to come back to the Light. This doesn’t turn out so well, as Kylo Ren refuses and hands Rey over to Snoke instead. However, though he doesn’t want to admit it, Kylo Ren secretly cares about Rey too. And when he sees Snoke torturing her, about to kill her, he is overcome by the power of love, rescues her, and is finally redeemed in the process.

If they put something like that in the films, anti-Reylo folks would be outraged. They would say Rey’s agency had been thrown away for the sake of Kylo. They would compare her to a sad, loyal little puppy for going and begging him to turn good. They would say the writers turned her into a damsel in distress for Kylo Ren to heroically save, and that his “magical love for a woman” redeemed him in the most sexist of ways. Here’s the thing, though. Read that hypothetical example again. But this time, switch Rey’s name with Luke’s, Kylo Ren’s name with Darth Vader’s, and Snoke's with the Emperor. Yes, that’s right. That hypothetical example I gave is literally the end of Return of the Jedi.

(Source: darwindogs.org)

And here’s where it gets interesting. No one says that Darth Vader’s redemption overshadows Luke’s story. No one thinks Luke is obsessed or unhealthy when he begs Darth Vader to come back to the light or that he's weak when his attempt leads him to be tortured and almost killed by the Emperor, or when he has to be saved by the person he was trying to save himself. Just like no one calls Thor weak when he tries to redeem Loki, and no one calls Captain America weak when he tries to redeem Bucky Barnes. Yet, they call Rey weak when they imagine her trying to redeem someone she cares about. Why? Is it because she’s a woman and all the other examples were men? Is it because her love would be romantic in nature, while the others were based on friendship or family? Because, to be honest, both of those reasons are pretty misogynistic. Women are strong. They don’t become less strong by falling in love. And they certainly don’t become less strong when saving someone becomes part of their mission. We need to stop thinking that the only way a female character can be strong is if they only care for themselves or that their story arc can't involve anyone else to be valid. As Lori Summers said in her famous quote about strong female characters:

In our totally understandable desire to see portrayals of strong women (in reaction to decades of damsels in distress and women as appendages), we’ve somehow backed ourselves into this corner where the only acceptable portrayal of a woman in the media is a strong, kick-ass woman.  That is not doing women any favors.  It just leads to the attitude that you have to be ONE WAY ONLY to be legit as a woman.... Screw writing “strong” women.  Write interesting women.  Write well-rounded women.  Write complicated women.  Write a woman who kicks ass, write a woman who cowers in a corner.  Write a woman who’s desperate for a husband.  Write a woman who doesn’t need a man.  Write women who cry, women who rant, women who are shy, women who don’t take no shit, women who need validation and women who don’t care what anybody thinks.  THEY ARE ALL OKAY, and all those things could exist in THE SAME WOMAN.  Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people.  So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong.  Write characters who are people.

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If Luke can redeem someone he cares about without being weakened or sacrificing his own Hero’s Journey arc, then Rey can also redeem someone she cares about without sacrificing hers. By all means, let her be powerful and independent. But also, let her be human. Don’t be afraid to let her love people.

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Hopefully I’ve set your mind at ease about all the problems some fans have with the Reylo ship. Now that I’ve refuted these arguments, next time I will delve into the many things that make this ship great. See you then!

Continue Reading →

In Defense of Reylo: Part I

Since I'll be delving into the details of the accusations that have been made against the characters' dynamic, trigger warnings for abuse, rape, pedophilia, incest, and sass.

Kylo Ren and Rey. It’s one of the most controversial ships to come out of the Star Wars franchise. It seems that Reylo has just as many haters as it does shippers, and it’s hard to come by a Star Wars fan these days who hasn’t taken part in some heated debate about it, no matter what side they’re on. Some call it beautiful, others call it harmful and problematic. And, of course, as a devoted Reylo shipper myself, I knew I would have to write something in its defense.

My first instinct was to write an article about how amazing the ship is. But no one is going to care about the positive aspects while they are still concerned about the negative ones. And with all the arguments going around about how the ship is harmful, I realized I would need to debunk those first before I moved onto the things I like about Reylo. So, today, in the first installment of my series on Reylo, I’ll be tackling five of the ten most common arguments I’ve seen levied against the ship.

*Ahem* Let’s begin.

1. “We should defeat villains, not fall in love with them. Viewing villains as romantic prospects is unhealthy and sets a bad example.”

I’ve seen many people give this argument, and each person seems to mean something a bit different by it. Some of them just mean they have seen one too many of their friends fangirl over antiheroes/antivillains and are sick of it and want something else. “First Zuko, then Loki, then Bucky Barnes, now Kylo Ren? When does it end?” To those people I would say I’m sorry to be so cliché. (Although, I’m also not sorry. ;) ) Trends can be tiresome, but they are not inherently harmful, and people have the right to like what they like.

Other people give this argument because they believe the popularity of antiheroes in media is a sign of society’s moral decay. “Our culture is quickly embracing moral relativity. And because of that it’s now only politically correct to have morally grey characters. If we want people to know right from wrong, we need heroes who are truly good we can root for, and villains who are truly evil we can despise.” To these people I would say that, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with stories about “true” heroes vs. “true” villains, there is also nothing wrong with stories about grey characters. Regardless of the black and white nature of deities and devils (or even humans in the afterlife), here on earth humanity is very grey. The best people have huge flaws, murderers show kindness, and almost everyone has had their turn being the abuser and the abused at some point. Grey characters are therefore more relatable as well as more interesting because there are more layers of morality and immorality to analyze and discuss. It’s nothing to be afraid of.

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The majority of people who give this argument, however, seem to be coming from what is basically social justice’s division of One Million Moms in that they are very concerned for the children. “Heroines falling in love with villains glamorizes abusive relationships and may cause impressionable young girls to enter abusive relationships themselves!” I think we are all familiar with the kind of stories they’re talking about – usually fanfics, erotica, and poorly written YA novels that portray a “sympathetic bad boy” type who stalks, manipulates, or abuses his girlfriend. But because he’s so handsome and tragic, the naïve girlfriend writes off his faults as him being “just misunderstood,” forgives him, and they live happily and unrealistically ever after.

What people don’t seem to realize when they compare this to Reylo is that Star Wars is not a fanfic or a poorly written erotica/YA novel. Kylo Ren is not anyone’s abusive bad boy boyfriend. Rey is not a naïve girl who forgives whatever he does because he’s “misunderstood.” Anyone who thinks they have been or ever will be these things doesn’t understand the Star Wars universe. And anyone who thinks that is what the majority of Reylo shippers want them to be hasn’t been paying attention.

There are two main groups of Reylo shippers: those who ship Kylo Ren and Rey as a Foe Yay relationship and want them to stay that way, and those who ship them as a Foe Yay relationship but hope Rey will redeem Kylo Ren and enter a more traditional romantic relationship with him post-redemption. I don’t know of many who want them to be in an actual romantic relationship pre-redemption. How would that even work anyway? “Alright, honey. It’s time for me to go to work and try to kill your friends.” “Alright, have a good day, sweetie!” Yeah, no. It would be hard to make that work in even a fanfic, let alone the actual movies.

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For those of you wondering what Foe Yay is, it is a trope in fiction where two equally powerful archenemies dedicate themselves to defeating the other but also find themselves strangely drawn to each other in ways they might not want to admit. Regardless of the characters’ gender and actual orientation, there will be a purposeful romantic subtext in their interactions. The trope is built on the idea that hate itself is a sort of twisted form of love. After all, no one can spend that much time obsessively thinking about a person – even negatively – and remain apathetic about them and their well-being. In fact, many characters in a Foe Yay relationship will find difficulty in actually killing their nemesis as they’ve always dreamed of once they finally get the chance. They may also find themselves telling others that only they are allowed to kill/harm their nemesis, in a subconscious effort to protect their nemesis from others. And they may also get strangely jealous when their nemesis fights other people.

Foe Yay is an extremely common trope that one finds in almost all media. It’s such a well-known trope, it is parodied often, such as in Perry and Doofenshmirtz’ relationship on Phineas and Ferb:


And in the music video to Miike Snow’s "Genghis Khan":


One of the more famous serious examples of this trope is the complicated relationship between Batman and the Joker:

(Source: DC Comics)

When little boys are inspired by Batman and want to become law enforcement officers when they grow up, no one worries that they’ll end up idealizing the criminals they chase because of Batman’s complex love/hate relationship with the Joker. And in the 75 years we’ve watched Batman alternate between fighting and caring about his archenemy, we’ve had no issues with boys putting themselves in dangerous relationships because of it. Whaddy’a know? It’s almost like fiction can actually serve as a safe, consequence-free zone to explore interesting dynamics that are not always 100% vanilla and ideal! Kind of like how, despite what some people say, videogames don’t cause violence and LGBT characters don’t turn straight viewers gay. I guess no matter what they watch, people are in control of their own actions and identities! Imagine! And guess what else? If little boys are smart enough to realize the difference between fiction and reality and are able to watch a love/hate relationship between a good guy and a bad guy, I’m pretty sure the girls can handle it too.

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Will some people watch media and be inspired by it to do something harmful? Of course! But it’s like what they say about fiction being a mirror. What you take away from a story depends on what kind of person you are. If you’re a super healthy person, you can read almost anything and grow from the positive elements as well as explore the negative elements without being affected by them in any bad way. If you’re an unhealthy person, you can read anything – the Bible, Emily Dickinson poetry, The Cat in the Hat – and come away from it inspired to ruin your life and/or the lives of other people. Playing it safe as an author or filmmaker will have no effect on whether or not people abuse your work. This is why each person, and no one else, should be accountable for their own actions. This is why it’s wrong to blame media for the actions of audience members. This is why both makers and consumers of media are expected to adhere to the rule that fiction is description, not prescription.

Ultimately, fiction isn’t there to be your role model. It isn’t there to inspire your children or teach them the correct way to live. And it isn’t there to take your ideals and put them on screen. Sometimes fiction does end up doing these things, and that’s great! But when we start viewing fiction through the lens of that being its ultimate purpose, it becomes a problem. That’s when we start holding media up to a standard it is not obligated to meet. Fiction can do many things, but the only thing it is obligated to do is entertain, to explore situations and relationships, both good and bad, healthy and unhealthy. And regardless of whether or not the Reylo dynamic is something that should be imitated in real life, it is interesting in how it explores the similarities between love and hate, the connection the two characters have through the Force, and the possible themes of redemption. It is compelling, and that’s all it needs to be.

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2. “Shipping Reylo condones rape. Case in point, the interrogation scene where he forces himself into her mind. And the line ‘You know I can take what I want’ pretty much speaks for itself.”

Let’s get something clear once and for all:

Yes, Kylo Ren did “Mind Rape” Rey.

No, Kylo Ren did not rape Rey.

If you’re confused, allow me to explain. “Mind Rape” is the name of a trope that, despite its loaded phrase of a name, is not actually rape. It is called such because it contains an element of violation that reminds people of rape in some cases. There are many variations of the “Mind Rape” trope, some playing on the association with rape more than others. The specific variation used in The Force Awakens is probably the least “rapey” of them all and is known as the Mind Probe. The Mind Probe trope is when any character possesses and uses the ability to sift through someone’s thoughts and memories in order to acquire a needed piece of information. It is often accompanied by head pain or discomfort for the person being probed, the intensity of which varies. This trope is very common to fantasy and sci-fi stories. One well-known example being that of Darth Vader and Leia in Star Wars: A New Hope.

Just like Kylo Ren mind probes Rey in order to find information placed in a droid, Darth Vader mind probed Leia Organa to find information that was placed in a droid as well. In fact, this is most likely one of the many intentional throwbacks to A New Hope that is in The Force Awakens. I don’t think it would be fair to say that Darth Vader raped Leia. Which is why I think, despite the trope name, the rape comparison is a bit too extreme to be accurate in the case of mind probes. They don't really have an equivalent in our world. The closest comparison would be to imagine struggling with a massive migraine while one of your enemies reads your diary in front of you. It’s certainly not an enviable position, and it’s definitely a violation of privacy, but it’s not rape.

I must also emphasize that, while there is some ethical questions around it, mind probing is something done by both villains and heroes in media. It is worth pointing out that Rey also “Mind Rapes” Kylo Ren right back in the interrogation scene. And she, along with most Jedis, take it a step further, using their powers to get into other people’s heads and force them to do things they would never do of their own free will, using Jedi mind tricks. This is much more extreme than a mind probe. And what’s more, it’s never frowned upon in-canon.

All that leaves is the “You know I can take what I want" line which many people have misunderstood. A lot of people interpret this line as Kylo Ren gloating over the fact that he is in power over Rey. But it is actually the opposite. Unlike his interrogation of Poe in which he gloated and made the Mind Probe as painful as he could, Kylo Ren makes it clear he is trying to get through Rey’s interrogation with as little unpleasantness as possible. He calls her his guest, even takes off his mask so they can speak to each other as people, tells her the truth about her friends, and tries to convince her to give him the map of her own free will first. This is why he says that line. He is telling her that, no matter what she chooses, he will have the map by the end of the day, so why not choose to cooperate and avoid all the pain of the mind probe? The novelization delves into this further:

     "I know you've seen the map," he repeated. "It's what I need. At the moment, it is all that I need." When she maintained her silence he almost sighed. "I can take whatever I want."
     Her muscles tightened. "Then you don't need me to tell you anything."
     "True." He rose, resigned. "I would have preferred to avoid this. Despite what you may believe, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easily as possible–but I will take what I need."

All in all, I think we can conclude that the Mind Probe scene does not make Rey a victim of rape nor does it make Kylo Ren a rapist. It’s simply one of the unpleasant ordeals she (along with Poe Dameron, who suffered far worse than she did) had to face while being held hostage by the enemy. I see nothing unusual or scandalous about this since, considering he is on their enemy’s side, we shouldn’t expect Kylo Ren’s actions toward the heroes to be positive and pleasant at this point. I also see nothing about this that would prevent him from being redeemed. (Darth Vader mind probed Leia, and it never got in the way of his redemption) And I certainly don’t see how it would get in the way of a Foe Yay relationship as his actions toward Rey are quite mild compared to other Foe Yay relationships. (Batman and Joker anyone?)

3. “Shipping Rey with Kylo = shipping a victim with her abuser.”

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told that if I root for Rey to forgive, care about, and redeem Kylo Ren, then that means I'm “ignoring her trauma,” “triggering victims of abusive relationships,” and “sending a bad message to people who have been in abusive romantic relationships, telling them they need to get back together with their manipulative ex-boyfriends.”

Whenever I see this, I can’t help wondering why these people don’t hate the original trilogy. In the original trilogy of Star Wars, Darth Vader gives Luke plenty of trauma. He fights him, cuts off his hand, gives him a choice of going to the dark side or falling to his doom, kills his mentor and many others Luke cares about, threatens to turn his sister evil, and takes him to the emperor to be toyed with, manipulated, and tortured. Yet viewers root for Luke to redeem Darth Vader, to continue loving his father, and ultimately to forgive him. And Luke does. In fact, if Vader hadn’t died in the end, Luke would have even taken him back and spent as much time with him as he could, forgetting all the trauma his father put him through. And the movies present this as a good thing. What about all the people watching who were abused by their parents? What if it triggers them? What if the story makes them feel like they have to forgive their abusive parents and take them back?

Despite all the backlash against Reylo, it’s been strangely silent on this front. Which strikes me as odd. Not because I think the original trilogy should trigger victims of parental abuse – just like with Reylo, I think it’s an apples and oranges comparison. But at least it makes a little more sense. At least Darth Vader really is Luke’s evil father. Whereas, Kylo Ren is not Rey’s manipulative ex-boyfriend. They are not victim and abuser. If you look at Rey and Kylo and see a poor traumatized girl being abused by some manipulative dudebro, you are not seeing what J.J. Abrams put on screen. They are adversaries. Think Superman and Lex Luthor. Batman and the Joker. Holmes and Moriarty. Tom and Jerry. You get the picture.

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They are nemeses fighting on opposing sides of a war. Unless you’ve joined the military and have done combat with the enemy, you haven't experienced a real life equivalent of what they are to each other.

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And another thing. If your beef against the Reylo ship is that you see Rey as a victim of Kylo Ren, I want you to say the following sentence out loud: “Rey is not a victim.” Say it. Very good! Now say it again. Yep, out loud. Again. Keep saying it. Say it in the mirror. Say it when you get up in the morning and when you lie down to sleep at night. Say it until it rolls off your tongue. Until it gets in your veins, and you can dance to it like a smooth piece of jazz.

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Rey has been in multiple battles with Kylo Ren and has easily won all of them. Look at other heroes like, say, Batman. Batman, with his years of training, his ninja moves, his billions of dollars to create every gadget you could possibly think of. And in each of his fights, he gets more battered and takes more abuse than Rey does with zero training, zero gadgets, while she is restrained to a chair. People don’t call Batman a victim. But they call Rey a victim?

Ohhh, but Rey is a woman. Ohhh, and she’s being placed in a fight with a man. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well, if a woman – even a strong woman – is placed in a fight with a man, she must automatically be a victim!

Like? What? No? Why are you? the way that? you are?

Also, while I’m sure Rey would totally win in a fight with someone who’s, you know, actually good at fighting, the part about Kylo Ren being Rey’s “abuser” is really, really funny. Like, I’m not sure if you were all watching, but Kylo Ren kind of downright sucks as a fighter? I mean, yes he can stop items in motion using the force, and he can slash the crap out of inanimate objects. But anything involving like…other people? Yeah, he’s going to lose.

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And he couldn’t be someone’s abuser even if he tried really, really hard. You can’t call Rey “Kylo Ren’s victim” when she’s stronger than him and beats him every time they battle.

Your homework for the day is to go to the blackboard and write “Shipping Rey with Kylo = shipping a badass fighter with the flailing, incompetent guy who will never beat her at anything ever” 100 times.

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4. “Shipping Reylo condones incest, as they are most likely related to each other.”

The idea that Rey and Kylo Ren are related is just one of many theories out there, not something that has been confirmed. Picking one of the many theories going around, assuming it’s true, and judging fans of a certain ship based on that is a bit silly. What’s more, I think the theory of them being related is not very likely to come true. I definitely don’t think they’re siblings. Han and Leia treat Rey like a stranger, not like someone who could possibly be their long-abandoned daughter. So the most Rey and Kylo Ren could be is cousins.

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If they are cousins, the Reylo ship still does not condone incest. Someone dating their own cousin is frowned upon here in America, but this is a highly US-centric view. The taboo nature of cousin relationships is completely subjective and cultural. In other countries, such as in Europe, cousin marriage is legal and considered quite normal. And I have to remind everyone that we don’t know what the rules are concerning cousin marriage in the Star Wars universe.

However, I find the idea of them being cousins also very unlikely. Making Rey Luke’s daughter would just be too obvious to make a good plot twist. Also, Maz Kanata’s advice to Rey was framed in a “you can’t get your real family, but you can have Luke instead” kind of way, which wouldn’t really make sense if Luke is her real family. And being Force-sensitive, I think Maz would have known if that was the case.

5. “Shipping Reylo condones pedophilia, as Rey is only 19 and Kylo is in his early 30s. That’s a ten year age difference.”

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Pedophilia means attraction to a child. It doesn’t mean attraction to someone younger than you. I can see how this would be a problem if Rey was underage – say, 16 or 17. But she is 19. She is an adult. If two people are adults, there is nothing immoral in them having any kind of romantic interaction they both want to have.

We've all seen relationships that came across as a bit skeevy due to a massive age difference. Like when a 60 year old starts dating a 20 year old. But ten years apart? You know relationships with that little an age difference are incredibly common, right? In fact, do you know who else had a ten year age difference in their relationship?

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That’s right. Not only did Han and Leia have ten years between them, but they were the same ages as Kylo Ren and Rey. Han was in his early 30s. Leia was 19. Like parents, like son. If it didn’t bother you with them, it shouldn’t bother you with Reylo.


Join me next time in Part II of my three-part series on Reylo where I'll tackle the final five arguments made against the ship.

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