Ryan and Esposito: The Cinnamon Rolls of Castle

 

I'm a fan of minor characters. 'GASP,' you say,' I HAD NO IDEA.' I know. I thought I'd start the article off with a shocking confession. 'Mirriam, I AM shocked,' you say. Yes, well, you'll be even more shocked when I tell you the reason I love 'Castle' isn't for the two main characters - it's for these boys.

 

Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito are homicide detectives and the low men on the totem pole at the 12^th Precinct.  They couldn't be more different from each other, but that's what makes them such an efficient and quirky duo. When they laugh, I laugh. When they fight, I cry. (Seriously. I cry.) To be honest, I'd be fine if they got their own spin-off buddy-comedy cop show.

 

Ryan: "Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once."

Esposito: Bro, you're not Castle.

 Ryan: Yeah, I know I'm not Castle.

Esposito: Then stop trying to talk like him.

Ryan: What, I'm not allowed to reference the Bard? I'm a renaissance man.

Esposito: Memorizing one quote does not make you a renaissance man.

Ryan: What if I memorize two?

 

 Detective Ryan used to work in narcotics, solving drug-related crimes. Now he's a preppy, waistcoat-wearing homicide detective, who occasionally switches out the suit for tactical gear. While Ryan and Espo are my two favorite characters, Ryan is my favorite by just a tiiiiiny bit. His open, boyish personality frequently seems out of place in the precinct, but he's far from helpless. Efficient and eager, he's constantly chasing down leads, gathering intel, scrubbing video footage, and canvassing crime scenes - always on the go, always ready to help.

Also, Castle is his precinct dad.

 

Detective Esposito has more of a tough-guy persona, although beneath all the swagger and muscle, there beats a marshmallow-soft heart. An ex-army sniper, he's more physical than Ryan, although they do many of the same things.  He starts sentences with 'yo' and can't lie to save his life, but he'll put his life on the line to save whoever he can. He's not your typical 'macho man' - he can be gentle, he has a fantastic sense of humor, and he's loyal to the end.

Also, Beckett is his precinct mom.

Ryan and Espo are my sweet cinnamon rolls, and the reason I'm so hooked on the show. I love Castle and Beckett, but the unlikely underling team puts the 'bro' in 'bromance.'

 

What about you? Do you watch 'Castle'? Do you love Ryan and Esposito like I do? Do you agree there need to be Ryan and Esposito Funko Pops? Discuss away!

 

Continue Reading →

Once Upon A Time Recap: “Swan Song” [5x11]

     Well, Dear Readers, the time has come. And by “the time,” I actually mean two things: first, it’s that time of year when shows go on hiatus for the holidays, and leave a massive cliffhanger to freak audiences out until January gets here. And second, that it’s my time to say farewell from writing these recaps for a while.

     Now, don’t panic; I’ll still be writing for The Fangirl Initiative throughout the year: it just won’t be regular recaps. Every season of a television show is different, and my life is entering a new season of its own as well. Hopefully another fan of Once Upon A Time will step up to recount the weekly episodes (and maybe, if you’re lucky, they’ll be less-picky than me about wardrobe choices, plot details, and historical accuracy). But, for old times’ sake, let’s take one last look at the winter finale of ABC’s Sunday-night fantasy drama… and never, forget, Dear Readers:

     The episode starts many years in the past, when a frightened boy in a ship’s cabin awakens in the midst of a terrible storm. A draft from above decks blows the lantern out and he calls for help — and his father comes to re-light the lantern. The man reminds his son to look inside himself whenever he feels scared, and to decide what sort of man he’ll be. The boy wants to be just like his father. Who is this boy? Killian Jones, of course!

     But the next time Killian wakes up, the lantern has gone out. The captain comes in and announces that Killian’s father is a wanted man. He rowed away in the ship’s boat because he’s being hunted… and he sold his sons into slavery in exchange for the boat.

     Back in present-day Storybooke, Captain Dark One comes to gloat over the fact that Belle actually rejected Gold. But Gold isn’t in the mood for games, and he tries to take a swipe at his enemy with Excalibur. Hook taunts him, and says that Belle made her decision because Gold always values power. But that hasn’t stopped Captain Dark One from planning to get his revenge anyway.

     Meanwhile, the Heroes march down Main Street and are joined by the dwarves on the road. Now that Emma knows what Hook’s plan is, they realize they need to hit him with everything they’ve got. Even if it means killing him. Once they split up, Regina and Robin head towards the harbor, but suddenly Zelena stands in their way. She’s decided to take sole custody of her (STILL UN-NAMED) daughter… since they’ll be dead soon. Why? Regina and Robin turn around to see—

DEMENTOR! Oh, wait...

     All over town the Dark Ones are sneaking up on Heroes and the dwarves and passing through them like ghosts! At first everyone seems to be fine afterwards, but then Mr. Gold arrives and tells them to look at their wrists. They all find what he calls the ‘mark of Charon,’ which is the name of the person who ferries the boat to the Underworld. If the Dark Ones want to stay in the world of the living, they each need a soul to exchange. When the moon reaches its peak, the ferry will arrive and drag everyone with a mark down to the Underworld. And having been to the Underworld, Gold knows two things: that it’s awful, and that there’s no hope for them to do anything but spend this time wisely and say goodbye. Cheery bloke, isn't he?

     As the Heroes split up again in search of Captain Dark One, Regina finds him on the pier and warns him not to go through with this. She tries to remind him of when she recruited him to kill her mother, but he chokes her before she can finish and warns her not to speak of that subject again.

     The touchy subject in question is some sort of test that Regina put Hook through before sending him to kill her mother. Many years ago in the Enchanted Forest, we see Hook meet the Evil Queen and agree to murder Cora in exchange for a way to reach a land without magic so that he can have a chance at revenge against Rumpelstiltskin there. But Regina warns him that Cora will exploit any weakness, so first he has to pass a test.

     Back in Storybrooke, the Charmings can’t find any way to escape this curse in a book. Snow is actually starting to give up hope that there might not be a way out. Even though she plans to leave Baby Neal with Emma, she’s still worried that they could be wasting their last moments together. Henry suggests dinner at Granny’s, and they make Emma promise to be there (which means she totally isn’t going to show up).

     When Regina finds the Savior, Emma admits that she does have a plan… but she’ll need Regina’s word, just like in Camelot, that she’ll swear to secrecy and do what has to be done to end the Darkness. Emma’s plan is still to channel the Darkness into one person and sacrifice them… but this time, it’s going to be herself.

     Down the road, Belle arrives at Gold’s shop after receiving a message from him. He gives her a potion that will allow her to cross the town line safely, and he tells her to see the world. She can tell something’s wrong, but she can also see that this is him finally being selfless, and so they say their goodbyes.

     So, let me get this straight: Hook wants revenge on Gold, but he hasn’t gone after the one person that Gold cares about? And also, how has Belle not noticed the myriad of sinister hooded figures waltzing around town? Why did not one of them target her? Why did none of the Heroes think to send her a message about it? In fact, why doesn’t this town have a mass-text-message system in place for situations like this!? “All Dark Ones resurrected at once; stay indoors; if symbol appears on wrist, you’re marked for death; join Heroes to survive.”

     After Belle leaves, Gold nearly breaks down in tears and looks down… at the mark of Charon on his own wrist.

     Moments later Regina and Emma come to him to fetch Excalibur, and they explain their plan to him. The news seems to hit him like a thunderbolt, and after vanishing into the back room, he emerges with the sword. He warns Emma that it might not work: the blade chooses who is worthy, and it chooses its miracles.

     After leaving Emma to make sure that Robin and his children are safe, Regina finds Zelena in her house and gloating over her future victory. Regina threatens her with Mickey’s wand. She couldn’t use it last time because she didn’t believe herself to be a hero, but now she is: and the wand surges with power! Regina poofs them both to the clock tower, then uses the wand to summon a green tornado and suck Zelena back to Oz! But not before the wicked witch can cry out the classic warning of a temporarily-defeated villain:

     Not far away, Emma sneaks into Granny’s and sees her family together… but she can’t bring herself to join them, so she leaves a note on the jukebox instead and sneaks away.

     Back in the Enchanted Flashback Forest, Regina brings Hook to a bar to face a certain man to prove himself. But Hook’s not supposed to fight the biggest man in the room: he’s supposed to face the bartender… who also happens to be his father.

     Killian waits until everyone in the bar is gone, then confronts Jones. Even though they were separated over a century ago, they both found a way to cheat death. Jones explains that after he sold his sons, he got caught put under a sleeping curse. However, his nurse fell in love with him, and he, hearing her voice in his sleep, fell in love with her. Eventually the curse broke with true love’s kiss. However, she died of plague a few years after they were married.

     Having lost Milah to Rumpelstiltskin years ago, Hook knows the pain of this story only too well. He admits that he came here to kill his father, but they’ve both lost too much. Everyone needs to believe that Jones is dead in order to convince the Evil Queen, but Hook can secure a letter of transit to smuggle him away in secrecy.

     However, his father requests two letters instead of one. Why? HOOK HAS A LITTLE HALF BROTHER!

     Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Captain Dark One comes to Emma’s house to try and convince her not to use Excalibur to destroy the Darkness. She thinks it’s because he cares about her, but he says it’s because he owes her for helping him on his journey to revenge. Emma warns him that she’ll fight the Darkness, even if she has to kill him. But every time she tries to strike him down, he vanishes in a puff of smoke and appears behind her! He keeps poofing back and forth until Emma whirls around and sees Henry instead of Hook. DON’T GIVE IT TO HIM, EMMA! IT’S NOT HENRY!

     She gives him the sword, but — big surprise — it was Hook in disguise.

     Down the road at Granny’s, Henry is playing with Baby Neal whose face is actually visible for once and he is totally adorable… and then Snow finds Emma’s letter on the jukebox. But they don’t have time to go after her because the Dark Ones have come. All the marks on their wrists glow, and the Heroes are summoned to the lake. (Fortunately, Robin arranged for the fairies to take care of Baby Neal as well as the Hood children.) Emma runs to her family to say goodbye, and Captain Dark One summons Charon’s ferry to come for them all!

     Regina, however, won’t give up on Hook; she asks him to remember again what he did to his father and asks what sort of man he wants to be.

     Back in the Enchanted Forest of Flashback, Hook comes to his father’s home with the letters of transit and finds his father comforting a little boy that’s nearly the same age that Killian used to be. Jones is comforting the boy the exact same way that he used to comfort his other sons. He even named the boy Liam!

     When he comes out and Hook asks about this, Jones explains he named his son as a reminder to himself never to make the same mistake. But Hook doesn’t buy it. Since his father’s words about bravery haven’t changed, his heart surely hasn’t either. He burns the letters of transit and runs his father through!

     As Jones falls to the earth, he tells Killian with his dying breath… it’s never too late to change.

     Back in Storybrooke, Emma steps forward to fight, but Nimue is powerful enough to keep the Savior from intervening. Hook watches as Emma’s choked and forced to the ground…

     …and eventually he can’t take it anymore and tells Nimue to stop.

     Nimue doesn’t think Hook has the authority to stop her… but actually, he does. He summons the power out of all the Dark Ones and sucks it into himself with Excalibur! The sword is glowing and shaking with power! Emma begs Hook not to do this, but he begs for her to help make up for everything he did. Even though they don’t want to lose each other, he needs her to let go and let him die a Hero. They kiss and swear on their love for each other.

     Then she takes the shaking sword… then runs him through and embraces him in the same stroke!

     Emma’s Darkness is sucked away, the sword disintegrates, and Hook is restored to the way he was before he became the Dark One: dying by the wound in his neck, with Emma sobbing over him.

     Later the next day, Belle rushes into Gold’s shop; Henry called her and told her everything. (Great job, Henry, Way to not warn her about the imminent danger until it’s no longer imminent). He was being truly selfless by sending her away, but she doesn’t need to see the world; she just wants to be with him!

     That night as Emma lays in her house clutching Killian’s ring, she suddenly hears whispering. She texts Gold and follows the sound… all the way to his shop! Why? BECAUSE HE HAS THE DAGGER.

     THE REAL DAGGER.

     WITH HIS NAME ON IT.

     He hadn’t suspected that Emma might hear it, but then again most ex-Dark Ones are dead. When Emma had come asking for Excalibur, he saw an opportunity and used a potion to turn the sword into a conduit before he handed it over. Hook's sacrifice was actually just channeling the Darkness back into Gold this whole time.

     Emma tries to choke him, but he freezes her; she may be the Savior, but he has the combined magic of every Dark One ever now. However, Emma demands that he do something for her since she still has magic and could possibly warn Belle before Gold can stop her. He asks what she wants.

     Not long afterwards, Emma goes to the Heroes and tells them what happened… and that she’s going to the Underworld to get Hook.

     Even though he’s dead, she remembers that her mother was able to split her own heart in two to save Charming’s life, so she’ll do the same for Hook. Gold brings her and the heroes to the pond, cuts his hand with the Dagger, and lets the blood drip into the water.

     The boat comes through the fog with Charon onboard, then Emma and… EVERYONE ELSE FROM MR. GOLD TO EVEN TEENAGED HENRY… walk across the water and step aboard!

Tune in Next March…

     …when the Heroes find a decrepit Storybrooke as the Underworld, and they come face to face with all the worst villains from their past like Cora and Maleficent and Peter Pan!!

     (Okay, so it doesn't look like Hades is going to be there, and that's a tragedy. But STILL. Did I not say last year that someone would go on a quest to rescue someone from the Underworld? I did. So that's good enough for me!)

Quote of the Episode:

     “Power is only as good as the one who wields it.”

     SAID THE MAN WHO LATER STABBED A HERO IN THE BACK FOR THAT POWER.

Current Questions:

1. Um, where were Arthur and all the Camelot-ians(?) this whole time? And Lancelot! Where is Lancelot when you need him!?

2. Why didn’t Emma split her heart and give it to Killian before he died and went to the Underworld? I get that it miiight not have worked while his neck was still injured, but… if a wound from Excalibur can never be healed, then doesn’t it stand to reason that as soon as he comes back from the Underworld, he’ll still have that wound and die again? If the split heart will work after he’s dead, why not before as well?

3. So let me get this straight: Gold lost his power. Became an actual Hero. Became so selfless that he let go of the woman he loved. And after she left, he saw someone willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world and thought, "I know: I'll use their sacrifice to take all the power for myself!"

     That's it. I'm done. There is no possibly way to trust Gold anymore. He drew Excalibur from the freakin' stone and then turned around and became the Dark One as soon as he saw an opportunity. This negates his internal journey throughout the entire season. The ENTIRE season!

4. Why did Robin and Regina and the Charmings decide to join Emma on a journey to the Underworld after spending the entire episode trying not to go to the Underworld since they have CHILDREN to take care of!? Robin and Regina haven’t even named their baby yet!

5. Will Lillith show up next year? Or her father? Because we just kind of left that entire storyline behind during this season, and there's a lot of potential there.

Current Theories:

1. Regina’s father, Henry, is in the underworld trailer. WHAT IF he turns out to be the worst villain of all, since Regina killed him and perhaps he’s been harboring a grudge ever since!?

2. Will Hook's little half-brother show up again? Because I want him to.

3. Also, we were kind of left hanging about Henry and Violet. Where was she during all of this? And I'm still banking on the fact that her mother is Morgan LeFay.

4. Though it looks like Gold has sucked all the power of the Dark Ones back inside himself, will the Dark Ones still be waiting in the Underworld? Will they be powerless if they are? Ooh, will Merlin be there? Without her magic, will Nimue finally get a chance to get back together with him?

5. NEAL. I JUST REALIZED. NEAL. WILL BE THERE. AND GRANT. OH. MY. STARS.

     The possibilities are endless! But now it’s time for you to make the predictions as the next season rolls around. Until then, Dear Readers... I hope your holidays are magical.

Continue Reading →

Once Upon A Time Recap: “Broken Heart” [5x10]

Even though it feels like this season of Once Upon A Time only just started, it's already starting to wind down for the winter — and by “wind down,” I mean the opposite. Even though I came back to ABC’s Sunday-night fantasy drama with fairly low expectations, the show has started to surprise and impress me within the last few episodes. Despite my griping, tomorrow’s Winter Finale looks like it’s shaping up to be a doozy. Why? Well, let’s take a look at what happened last week. Just remember…

We begin precisely where last week left off, after Hook learns he’s become a Dark One and decides to avenge himself on Emma. Since she took away his memories, he returns the favor, and Zelena puts the cuff on Emma to restrain her magic. The two villains split up on their respective missions, agreeing to stay out of one another’s way.

We then see that weeks earlier when Hook is sent to the vault of the Dark One, black magic shoots into him and makes him re-live all the worst and most agonizing memories of his life: particularly the moment when Rumpelstiltskin killed Milah (oh great, let’s remind ourselves that Emma’s true love once tried to elope with her almost-mother-in-law).

When Hook awakens in the forest, Rumpelstiltskin appears and Hook dives for him… then learns that the “crocodile” is only in his head. However, when Hook tries to leave and ignore all the Dark Ones in his head, Rumpelstiltskin offers him… a chance to kill Mr. Gold.

In the present, the Heroes come looking for Emma after her spell on the house drops, and they find her restrained with the magic-suppressing cuff. She tells them how and why she made Hook the Dark One (wait, then which memories did he erase exactly!?). Snow suggests that Emma return their memories so all the Heroes can figure out Hook’s plan, but all the dream catchers are gone.

Not far away, “Captain Dark One,” as Regina calls him, is in Gold’s shop facing down his old enemy. He’s come for revenge, but instead of achieving it by, I dunno, going after Belle (because duh), he decides he wants to savor the moment a little more than that. So he MIMICS RUMPELSTILTSKIN PERFECTLY. “Get your affairs in order, Dearie, for we duel at noon on my ship!”

No ordinary sword can kill Captain Dark One, so Hook shows them Excalibur. It can’t control him anymore, but it CAN kill him. All Gold has to do is win it in the duel.

After Gold comes to the Heroes with this news, Emma wonders why Hook would erase her memories if he was going to announce his plan anyway.

Snow remembers Nimue is the key to stopping the Dark One, and Emma and Gold explain who Nimue is, and they prepare to do some heavy research on the subject… but Emma says there’s a faster way. She asks them to take off the cuff, but they don’t trust her. Even when Henry arrives and hears her plea, he looks her straight in the eye and says no. She just wants her magic back so she can try to solve everything alone again… and he’s seen what she does when she's alone with Dark Magic.

Back in Camelot, Merlin and the Heroes reach the vault of the Dark One and follow Hook’s tracks until they disappear. Merlin is worried; this is the darkest path that he foresaw for Emma. She still might not hurt them, but Hook might, and so Merlin sends Lancelot to go find his mother, the Lady of the Lake.

Totally forgot about her.
Where has she been, anyway?

Some distance away, Captain Dark One storms through the woods trying to ignore the voice of Rumpelstiltskin in his head. He knows his thirst for revenge can’t be satisfied because the real Mr. Gold is in Storybrooke, and he won’t crush the heart of his true love to enact a curse and transport himself there. But Rumpelstiltskin assures him… there is a loophole.

Emma shows up looking for Hook, but when he asks about Excalibur, she says it vanished right after he did. Rumpelstiltskin is not convinced — and because Emma is a Dark One, she can see him, too. However, she tries to convince Hook to ignore the voices and focus on their future together. When he does, the hallucination vanishes, and they can journey back to the people they love and trust for help.

Back in the present, the Heroes tell Emma to stay put and let them save her (wow, old-school fairy tale politics there). They leave the house, but Gold tells Belle that he’s going to go prepare for battle. It’s time for him to be the man she deserves and stop running from battles for good. If he wins, then he’ll wait for her by the well where they were married. If she meets him there, he’ll know how she feels. BUT WHAT IF CAPTAIN DARK ONE DISGUISES HIMSELF AS EITHER PERSON AT THE WELL!?

Down the road at the hospital, Zelena barges in to look for her child but finds Regina waiting and the cradle labeled “Baby Hood” empty. (Because clearly when you have a tiny human in a cradle, you need to label it as a “baby” or people won’t know what it is. To be fair, I suppose no one expected to have to pick a name quite this soon… but why not just “Hood”? Was “Baby Hood” really necessary?)

Zelena vows to tear the town apart to get her child back. Regina thinks her wickedness needs to stop, but Zelena doesn’t think it can… then Regina suddenly has an idea that might actually help.

Back at Emma’s house, Merida was left guard but is easily knocked out when Captain Dark One comes to call. Emma thinks he came because he still has feelings for her and tries to convince him that whatever deal he made to get his revenge isn’t worth it. Hook says he doesn’t care what the Dark Ones inside of him achieve so long as he gets what he wants. He goes on to say that she should understand that since she always pushes her loved ones away and that’s why she’ll always be an orphan. And he says it all because he wants to hurt her the way that she hurt him.

Back in Camelot, rather than using magic to poof back to Granny’s, Hook and Emma decide to walk. But when they split up on their search to gather supplies, Hook can hear a sound: Rumpelstiltskin says it’s the dagger and sword whispering together. He can hear them because they’re close… in fact, because Emma has them and lied about it to control Hook (says Rumpelstiltskin).

When Emma shows up, Hook demands to know the truth… and she eventually shows him that she does have the sword. She didn’t trust him with it since he had said he would succumb easily to darkness… and he shouts at her that it was also why he didn’t want to be turned Dark in the first place. Since she clearly doesn’t believe in him anymore, how is he supposed to fight this?

In present-day Storybrooke, Emma shows up to the pawn shop where Gold is practicing for his duel. She needs to find the dream catchers and return everyone’s memories, and she offers him the last of her squid ink to occupy Captain Dark One in the meantime. But Gold says he doesn’t need the ink; if he’s going to win, he’ll do it with honor. And he’s surprisingly confident.

Ummm... why?

Down the road, Regina brings Zelena to her apartment. After a stern warning, she explains that she herself couldn’t find redemption until she became having Henry’s mother. Perhaps loving a child will help Zelena to find her best self, too.

Robin’s waiting with the baby, and says that while the four of them will never be one big happy family, they’ll let her visit the child anytime as long as one of them is present. Though it’s hard for them, they allow Zelena to hold her “little green bean” and she actually cries a little.

Down in Belle’s library, Emma finds Henry in secret and asks for his help to find the dream catchers. And she’s not going to do it with magic; she’s going to do it with help. Henry says he just needs a locator spell (um, Henry: that IS in fact, magic) and the materials that she used to make the dream catchers.

Back in Camelot, Emma goes looking for Hook in the field (of roses that should be on bushes. I don’t care if they’re part of Nimue’s myth--they are STILL ROSES).

She calls for him, but when he doesn’t come, she resorts to summoning him with the sword. He says she doesn’t love him because she doesn’t understand how it feels to be this powerless: she says she felt it every time she was abandoned. He was the only person who didn’t leave her, and that’s why she couldn’t lose him. She called him to show that she does trust him, and she hands over the sword. They’re going to do this together, and she promises she won’t try to control him again.

The two of them return to Granny’s. The Heroes are suspicious of Hook, so Emma stays outside to talk to them while Hook goes inside to see Merlin. The great sorcerer is leaving his potion message, but then Hook comes in… and locks the door and snatches Merlin’s heart.

He needs Merlin’s heart to get back to Storybrooke and achieve his revenge. To cast the curse, the person crushing the heart needs to have feelings for Merlin… and what do you know, Nimue lives inside of Hook!

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Gold limps aboard the Jolly Roger. Captain Dark One, who was waiting with Excalibur, heals his leg so it’ll be a fair fight… then the two of them begin the duel. Gold is surprisingly decent at swordplay and actually manages to run Captain Dark One through… but it won’t work until he can get Excalibur from Hook’s hands. The pirate slashes Gold’s arm with his hook and warns him that this won’t be the deepest cut he receives.

Near the center of town, Henry and Emma find the dream catchers in the clock tower.

They’re protected by a dark spell, however, and Emma has no magic… but Henry brought squid ink to take the cuff off! Since Emma trusted him, he’ll trust her.

Back in Camelot, Emma comes into Granny’s. To keep her from controlling him again, Hook sends Excalibur back to its stone. Emma asks what Nimue wants: Nimue says all Dark Ones want it. Suddenly Emma’s eyes go wide with realization.

She pleads with Hook that his revenge isn’t his happy ending: she is. If he destroys Merlin, he destroys his happy ending. But Killian’s happy ending isn’t what he wants now, so he crushes Merlin’s heart to dust and conjures the curse!

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Captain Dark One manages to corner Gold but — ironically — gets distracted by the voice of Rumpelstiltskin in his head. When he glances away at the hallucination, Gold unlatches a belaying pin and sends a pulley down on Hook’s head!

He takes Excalibur… but now that he’s a Hero, he won’t kill Hook. He’ll just let him live with the shame (and give him time to plot revenge). Captain Dark One poofs away and leaves Gold with a sliced arm.

Despite the wound, Gold goes straight to the well, and Belle comes to him. However, she says he’s broken her heart just too many times; he’s the man she’s always wanted, but she’s not sure if she wants this. She’s spent too many years healing his heart, and now she needs to protect her own.

It’s not Belle, it’s Hook! This was Hook’s revenge all along, not the duel! Right? RIGHT!?

Back in Camelot, Emma can’t stop the curse, but she can erase Hook’s memories. To make him forget for certain, she needs to erase the memories of everyone who knew that he turned Dark. She summons all the Heroes, re-cuffs Zelena, then adds the memory-wipe to the curse. The smoke rolls over them all, and she’s left kneeling and weeping over Killian, and she'll have to pretend to be evil while she tries to save him and NO ONE WILL KNOW.

In the distance, Merida is caught by the curse as she’s riding through the woods. Camelot is covered (and possibly transported?) just as Arthur rediscovers the sword in its stone at the center of the Round Table.

Now in the present, Emma returns the memories to all the heroes and even Merida, who aren’t sure if they can trust her… and once the memories are restored, Emma remembers what Hook’s plan really is.

Speak of the devil, Captain Dark One is talking with his hallucination of Rumpelstilskin at the town lake about how he got what he really needed: the blood of a man who went to hell and back. And they’re at the pond for the same reason the Fury brought Robin there; the lake holds a portal to the Underworld itself!

Wait, is Hook getting Milah back? THAT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD.

The captain dips his blood-stained hook in the pool to open the portal. The ferry to the underworld appears full of passengers, and off steps… NIMUE.

AND ALL THE DARK ONES IN THE FLESH.

THEY’RE HERE TO SNUFF OUT THE LIGHT FOR GOOD.

Tune In Tomorrow…

     …for the Winter Finale! All the Dark Ones come to Storybrooke, and they prepare to kill everyone Emma loves including Henry and Baby Neal… perhaps even driving Emma to kill Hook to prevent it all!

Quote of the Episode:

     “What the devil am I wearing? Why must Dark Ones dress like monks!?”

Current Questions:

1. Will we see Merlin again? Because frankly, for all the hype and consecutive seasons that we took wondering who he was and waiting to see how powerful he was, his role in the story has been somewhat of a letdown when I look back. He spent the first half of the season in a tree, and the second half more as Emma's equal than as some all-powerful being who could save her. What happened to THE MIGHTY SORCERER who appointed the Authors, entrusted Mickey with magic, and actually sometimes seemed to control the happy endings in Storybrooke? Come on.

2. Did Belle really dump Gold at the well? I mean… just… really? NOW, of all seasons!? After he's CLEARLY a Hero now? HE DREW EXCALIBUR FROM THE FREAKIN' STONE.

Current Theories:

1. Maybe Camelot was transported to Storybrooke by the curse and is… hiding… somewhere? Okay, now that I say it, it sounds stupid. But still. The stone holding Excalibur crossed over between the realms, so why not the magic castle?

2. Lancelot and his mother will (or should, anyway) have a major role in the winter finale, stopping the Dark Ones and Arthur. Perhaps Lancelot will become the new king of Camelot! (His name already rhymes with the castle's: what more could you ask for?)
     Actually, since Gold drew the sword out of the stone, he also qualifies for kingship. Which would be a whole other can of worms.

3. I also suspect/hope that Zelena will play a major role in defeating the Dark Ones. Perhaps when they start threatening Henry and Baby Neal, she’ll suddenly get filled with maternal rage and become a [temporary] Hero. Or maybe they'll be going after Robin's baby as revenge on him and Regina, but since it's her baby too, she'll fight back.

4. Oh, and “Baby Hood” just might get named ‘Nimue.’ Because that’s totally the sort of thing this show would do. (Naming her ‘Marian’ would be a little too weird, I can tell you that.) (Baby Neal and Nimue, sitting in a tree… oh no, it's starting already!..)

Continue Reading →