Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Ultimate Movie Marathon: Marvel Cinematic Universe Edition

This week Spider-Man Homecoming releases in theaters. And with it, comes the next installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the MCU is a complicated mess of movies, TV shows, and tons of overlapping story arcs and characters. Where should you begin? In what order should everything be watched? And how the frick-frack, paddy-whack can you keep everything straight?

In dramatic Tony Stark fashion, I present to the best way to watch the entirety of the current Marvel Cinematic Universe (aka the Chronological Order of the Universe*, not release date). So grab your snacks (blueberry?), your shield/hammer/armor/cape, and your best friends, and get ready for the most awesome movie (and TV show) marathon ever! (Other than watching The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings film trilogies back-to-back in one sitting, obviously.**)

*This is a rough order because technically there are prologues, flashbacks, and the like that take place before other parts, and there are also tons of overlapping scenes within the movies and shows, which would require pausing a film after five minutes to watch a different 5 minute clip to stop that and watch something else. Until someone puts together a montage of the MCU in chronological order, check out the full chronology list here for every moment in order.
**I say this only because I'm pretty sure it's impossible to watch the entire MCU in one sitting because there are 15 feature films, six TV series, and several other shorts and mini-series. And that's only what's already been released.

Captain America: The First Avenger

MY FAVE FINALLY GOT A MOVIE. Not crying, not crying. Okay, I was crying about this like 5 years before it was made when all I had to go on was rumors!

Marvel One-Shot: Agent Carter

Apparently this is no longer canon because of the TV show. Since it's the reason we have two seasons of the TV show, you should probably watch it anyways.

Agent Carter Season 1 and 2

Agent Carter takes on aliens, Hydra, and misogyny in the 1950s, while in heels and taking coffee orders. Honestly, I'm still angry this is canceled. There is no wrong with this show. Plus, Jarvis is just a precious cinnamon roll.

Iron Man

Welcome to the world of Stark Industries. In which we are all introduced to Tony Stark and his love for himself. (It's kind of strange, but this is the only MCU film I didn't see in theaters.)

Iron Man 2

Wait, this movie exists? I only remember Tony lounging in the giant donut. The rest is a blur from all the whiplash.

The Incredible Hulk

Bruce Banner (and the Hulk) before his facelift. Learning to control the Hulk really changed him, eh?

Marvel One-Shot: The Consultant

The greatest crossover before The Avengers movie. (Also, A+ consistency, people.)

Marvel One-Shot: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor

Coulson is the best. (Also, this takes place, technically, before the end credits of Iron Man 2. But hey, it's hard to keep track of everything.)


I haven't always liked the Thor movie, but then someone told me it's basically a Shakespearean play and then I had to rethink my life decisions. (Also: are we going to ignore that Tom Hiddleston played Loki or what? Because how. How is that the same man?)



Marvel One-Shot: Item 47

No one remembers this because it's boring and had nothing to do with anything. Right? I mean, I don't... remember.

Iron Man 3

This is my favorite Iron Man film. Except for the Mandarin plot line. That was terrible. But Tony and Rhodey and Pepper were great. It was all great. So many feels.

Marvel One-Shot: All Hail the King

I think this is the reason they stopped making Marvel One-Shots.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 1, Episodes 1-7

The show we didn't know we wanted, but we are definitely glad we have. #CoulsonLives

Thor: The Dark World

All I remember is the Ninth Doctor was a Dark Elf, and I just... okay then. And Loki. Gosh, Loki. (It's all about Loki. They should just rename all the films after Loki. Loki, Loki: The Dark World, Loki: Ragnarok. I mean, it makes sense, right?)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 1, Episodes 8-16

Man, season one was so tame. They just had to deal with things like hackers, alien technology, and Tahiti. Nothing crazy or creepy or soul-ripping. Well, except...

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Get ready for the Sebastian Stan meltdown of 2K14. Because it happened. "Til the end of the line, pal." *sobs*

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 1, Episodes 17-22

THIS IS WHEN STUFF GOES DOWN, YO (and I officially sold my soul to this show). Seriously, don't watch these episodes until you've watched The Winter Soldier. Because things just got real!

Guardians of the Galaxy

I can't believe this movie exists. I love it so much.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

I can't believe two movies like this exist. Amazing. (And yes, GOTG Vol. 2 takes place in 2014. *waves fingers around* MATH.)

Netflix's Daredevil Season 1*


*Note: Daredevil takes place sometime after The Avengers but before Age of Ultron, so you could technically watch it alongside Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., as it overlaps. But it's easier to just watch the whole season together.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Episodes 1-19

Okay, but this season was pretty dope. Things start shaking up when the Terrigen Mist goes off. They did good.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

You were either super angry with this film or you loved it. There is no in-between.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Episodes 20-22

"I see dead people. I mean, an army of metal men (aka AI robots)." And that's the extent of the S.H.I.E.L.D.-Avengers movie crossover. #Disappointing


Seriously, Marvel made a movie about a guy who interacts with ants. I mean, how does this movie even exist? It makes less sense than Guardians of the Galaxy.

Netflix's Jessica Jones Season 1*

If you want to be creeped out by the 10th Doctor or you want to relish in your feminist power, watch this show, yo.

*Just like Daredevil, Jessica Jones takes place at the same time as the movies. It's hard to pinpoint without exact dates, though it can be concluded it takes place after Daredevil season one and before Captain America: Civil War.

Netflix's Daredevil Season 2

Aka: I never expected to care so much about The Punisher. #Oops

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 3, Episodes 1-19

Inumans are e v e r y w h e r e and we realized Fitzsimmons will never be happy again. Never.

Captain America: Civil War

Aka Captain America: A Small Skirmish. Still sobbing, though.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 3, Episodes 20-22

There was no repercussions from the whole Civil War deal. So you know, this is the moment when Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. breaks from following the movies because the movies didn't care about Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Jerks.

Luke Cage season 1*

This show is empowering. You should watch. Plus, Luke Cage is smoking hot. *finger guns*

*Again, Luke Cage takes place as the same time as other installments of MCU but definitely after Daredevil and Jessica Jones and before Iron Fist.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot

Apparently, this is a spin-off mini-series of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I didn't know this existed before I made this list. Sooooo...

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 4, Episodes 1-4

When Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gets even better. Who knew? I mean, really, though. Who knew this show would last this long and be this interesting? They dove deep in comic lore, which is fantastic. (Two words: Ghost Rider.)

Doctor Strange

Prepare to be amazed. *waves hands around like the Sorcerer Supreme* Also the beginning of this takes place BEFORE Civil War, but the ending is after, so you know. Watch after.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 4, Episodes 5-15

Are you ready to be creeped out? And to lose your soul? Because: here you go!

Iron Fist Season 1*

While I watched this show, I realized The Defenders was happening, and I internally screamed for 2734924 hours. Also, Danny Rand is a precious cinnamon roll that I want to protect at all costs. (No, no. It's not because he has a dragon tattoo on his chest. Why ever would you think that?)

*Iron Fist can be watched alongside season four of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but for funsies sake, I put it here in the middle of season four. Gotta break it up. Just make sure you watch Iron Fist after Luke Cage and before The Defenders.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 4, Episodes 16-22

I haven't watched yet because Marvel has too many things to keep track of and I can't deal. But my sources say a lot of freaking crazy stuff happens, and it's good.

Spider-Man Homecoming

Gosh, I'm so glad Tom Holland is our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Coming up next for the MCU:

The Defenders: August 18 on Netflix
*internally screaming for 347927538 years*

Inhumans: September 1 in IMAX, followed by the rest of the season on ABC in October.
I'm excited, but I hate how Medusa looks. Her hair... no. I'm worried.

Thor: Ragnarok: November 3, in theaters
I never thought I'd be so excited for a Thor movie. But dang son!

The Punisher: 2017, Netflix
Ben Barnes. That's all I care about. But also the Punisher because... well, see Daredevil season two.

Black Panther: February 16, in theaters

Avengers: Infinity War: May 4, in theaters
Is this even real life?

...and more!

So far, we know a handful of other projects are in the works, including the Captain Marvel film, Jessica Jones season 2, Daredevil season 3, Luke Cage season 2, another Avengers film (Infinity War Part Two?), the Ant-Man and the Wasp film, Cloak and Dagger series, The Runaways series, and the New Warriors series. I've also heard they're already planning Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and a sequel to Spider-Man Homecoming.

Whew! That's a lot of pieces to the MCU puzzle. By my calculations, it would take about 173.2 hours, or a little over seven days straight, to watch everything, so if you're behind, you better get started. Phase four is coming, and you want to be ready.


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