SCENE ONE: Clarke and Lexa are riding to Arkadia.
Lexa: I'm so happy. Aren't you happy, Clarke?
Clarke: I ran away from my people. They might be upset.
Lexa: You're bringing them a dead body, how could they be upset?
Clarke: Maybe you're right.
Lexa: Anyway, we took the Ice Queen's body probably without permission, since I can't see King Roan being coolio beans with us stealing it away from a proper Azgedan funeral.
Clarke: Yeah, we'd better ride faster.
SCENE TWO: Bellamy and nine soldiers walk through the gates of Arkadia.
Octavia: Why are you covered in blood???
Bellamy: It was raining.
Bellamy: IDK, go away.
Pike: THIS IS OUR LAND NOW. Granted, we've only been here for five minutes and the Grounders were all here first, but since they are a metaphor for Native Americans and I am a metaphor for Columbus, WE ARE ENTITLED.
People: HECK YEAAAAAH.
Kane: I didn't go a personality transformation and grow a badass beard just to watch all this garbage take place.
SCENE THREE: Clarke and Lexa are riding to Arkadia (still)
Lexa: Peace <3 Love <3
Clarke: Are those the bodies of 300 Grounders who were sent here to help Arkadia stay safe?
Indra: I'M ALIVE, BUT I'M BARELY BREATHING.
Lexa: WHO DID THIS TO YOU??
Indra: CLARKE WHY ARE YOUR PEOPLE SO STUPID.
Clarke: I….............got nothing. But Bellamy can help!
Indra: Bellamy was the one who DID THIS, for pity's sake.
Clarke: That seems OOC of him.
Indra: It kinda was. But he didn't WANT to kill everyone. And he let me live so I could deliver a message.
Lexa: What message?
Indra: They hate us.
Clarke: I MUST GO SPEAK WITH BELLAMY.
Lexa: No, you're under arrest.
Clarke: That was fast, but I don't want to be a prisoner. I want to talk to Bellamy.
SCENE FOUR: Pike is giving battle plans to his soldiers.
Pike: We'll expand our borders to this point.
Bellamy: Sir, there's a grounder village there.
Pike: NP, we'll just wipe them all out.
Bellamy: But, like…innocent people?
Pike: Your point?
Bellamy: That doesn't seem good…killing innocent people…seems bad…
Pike: Killing innocent people isn't bad, Bellamy. Here, wear this Guard Uniform™ and know how much I believe in you.
Bellamy: You have successfully completed Emotional Manipulation Level 2. I will wear this uniform.
MEANWHILE, IN SICK BAY
Raven: Why won't you let me do things?
Abby: Your leg is in bad shape. I can't let you do things.
Raven: Can I come back after it heals?
Abby: No, your leg is never gonna heal.
MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE THE GATES
Jaha: I'm back with my Grounder Assistant/Emori's Brother!
Guard: No Grounders.
Assistant: WHAT. BUT I CAME ALL THIS WAY— *is unfortunately shot in the fight which follows*
Abby: *runs out* HE'S DYING. HE'S DEAD.
Jaha: No worries. He's alive in the City of Light.
Jaha: By the way, I brought drugs.
Kane: JAHA, IS THAT REALLY YOU? Say something insane so I know it's really you
Jaha: I have a magical pill that will take away all your problems, and also, you will never die.
Kane: You're even crazier than before! Amazing!
Pike: JAHA, BRO, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
Jaha: GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. Do you want some happy drugs?
Pike: Not so much into happiness. I like the genocide thing, but feel free to peddle to anyone who wants it.
Jaha: Thanks, bro.
SCENE FIVE: Lexa and Clarke are with Indra, camped a couple miles from Arkadia.
Octavia: I'M HERE. WHAT HAPPENED. INDRA. OH MY GOSH. ARE YOU OKAY??
Indra: What are you doing here?
Octavia: Kane sent me to smooth things over. Sorry about all the dead people.
Lexa: How could this happen?
Octavia: See, we held an election for chancellor—
Octavia: —and Pike won, so he's killing everyone.
Clarke: I definitely have to talk to Bellamy.
Octavia: I'll get you in.
SCENE SIX: Abby and Kane are in Sickbay.
Pike: HI, I'M HERE TO RUIN EVERYTHING.
Pike: We'll just be taking all these sick Grounders off your hands and sticking them in prison so they can die. I assume you're okay with this.
Abby: DAGNABBIT, PIKE, I'M NOT GOOD AT MANY THINGS, BUT I AM GOOD AT BEING A DOCTOR, AND I SAY YOU CAN'T PUT SICK PEOPLE IN PRISON AND LET THEM DIE.
Lincoln: *storms in* SCREW YOU *knocks out a guard* AND YOU TOO *knocks out another guard* YOU'RE NEXT, BELLAMY.
Bellamy: COME ON, BRO—
Pike: Stick Lincoln in prison, too.
Jaha: Drugs are good. Do drugs. Drugs = peace and happiness, and you will live 5ever. Trust me.
Raven: HELP. NO. I'M BEING DRAGGED INTO JAHA'S STORYLINE. URGH. DRUGS ARE BAD.
ALIE: We need her.
Jaha: Don't worry, Raven, I'll get you hooked on drugs very soon.
SCENE SEVEN: Octavia corners Bellamy.
Octavia: YOU PUT MY BOYFRIEND IN PRISON!?
Bellamy: It's called 'internment' now.
Octavia: I KNOW YOU KILLED ALL THOSE PEOPLE.
Bellamy: GEEZ, KEEP IT DOWN. We can't have everyone knowing about the massacre, it's not good for morale.
Octavia: Step into this room so I can beat you up.
Bellamy: Okay. *steps into room*
Clarke: Um, hi.
Octavia: You kids have fun. *leaves*
Clarke: Bellamy, you killed three hundred innocent people. That's not the most awesome thing ever.
Bellamy: Stop making me feel bad. They had to die, Pike said so.
Clarke: We should actually talk about how wrong Pike is.
Bellamy: Oh, sure, you can order me around because you're 'WANHEDA' now, is that it?
Bellamy: You have no idea what I've been through, and also, people die around you, and also, I would sell you for a single Dorito.
Clarke: I'm sorry.
Bellamy: I'm sorry, too.
Clarke: So we're good?
Bellamy: Yeah, totally. *slaps handcuffs on her* We're great.
Octavia: Drat. This didn't work so well.
Clarke: *knocks Bellamy out, escapes with Octavia*
MEANWHILE, BACK OUTSIDE
Jaha: Do drugs, Raven. It'll be fun.
Raven: Okay, but just this once since I have nothing else to do.
Raven: *does drugs*
Raven: Whoa, my leg feels better.
SCENE EIGHT: Clarke gets back to Lexa's camp.
Clarke: So, that didn't go over well.
Lexa: Can I kill your people now?
Clarke: I'd rather you didn't, actually.
Lexa: But I need to.
Clarke: Can we try not retaliating?
Lexa: Urgh. Fine.
Indra: All aboard the crazy train.
SCENE NINE: Murphy and Emori
Murphy: This is fun, all the dating and thievery.
Emori: LOL, yeah, it is. BTW, can we go find my brother?
Emori: I'll convince you one of these days.
Murphy: I have the sinking feeling your brother is dead.
Emori: Don't be silly. Lay in the middle of the road, and when these approaching warriors stop for you, we'll steal their stuff.
Murphy: *is kidnapped*
Grounder Warrior: He has a drug pill with the Sacred Symbol!
And Now, My Thoughts
First of all, I just have to ask: where was Roan? I fully understand we needed to step away from the Ice Nation for this episode, but still. I miss you, buddy. Stay strong. Also, let me just state that if the Ice Nation was only a plot device for the first four episodes, my wrath will be great and my ire greater.
Also, I fail to see how Murphy and Emori's plotline ties in with the rest of the show - or I did, until one of the Happy Pills fell into the hands of the Grounders. Now at least it has a small tie-in, but Murphy and Emori feel very 'extra' at the moment.
The scene between Bellamy and Clarke was intense and great, even if watching it resulted in the shedding of tears and my heart being ground into small pieces. It was the reunion I'd been waiting for - or the 'pre-reunion,' since it didn't exactly go smoothly. We got to see Bellamy's very raw, very real pain, and we got to see Clarke's guilt combined with her hope for their friendship.
Usually after each episode of The 100, I have to rant over how stupid and badly-written half of it was, but this episode surprised me. I wouldn't change anything, aside from maybe Murphy and Emori's side-plot. I was impressed and surprisingly happy with it (despite the sad lack of Roan). Also, props for the clever episode title. It made my little nerd heart happy.
What did you think of the episode? Where is Raven's plotline heading? Do you think this ruined Bellamy and Clarke's relationship? I'd love to hear your thoughts!