Sunday, December 13, 2015

Star Wars Original Trilogy Full Commentary Part 3: Return of the Jedi

Only five more days until Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters, and we're celebrating Star Wars all week. As part of the fun, I'll be doing a full commentary on all three movies in the original trilogy. Today, I'll be taking a look at the third installment, Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, ending with my overall thoughts on the films.

A couple things before we begin:

1. I’m watching the DVDs of this trilogy, which are the infamous Han-DIDN’T-shoot-first versions. So it’s not my fault if it’s blasphemy.

2. This is only the second time I’ve seen these movies since I was tiny and too young to understand or remember them. I am not in any way a Star Wars expert. I don’t know the names of everything, and Star Wars aficionados may notice me get facts or terminology wrong, but that's okay. We're just here to have a good time.

Quick glossary of some MBTI terms, since I mention them in the commentary:

Fe = the desire to help, protect, or please other people. 
Fi = devotion to ideals. 
Ti = devotion to logic. 
Ni = a deep, subconscious connection to the universe around us. 
Si = devotion to tradition. 
SJs = people with very high Si.

Let’s go.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

“The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.” It’s weird how now they reveal the Emperor is the really scary one, when before everyone went around acting like Darth Vader was the ultimate bad guy in the universe. Everyone was afraid to say anything to Vader in the other movies, but this guy here is talking to him pretty boldly, telling him how unfair the expectations on him are. If anyone had said that in the other movies, they probably would have been force-strangled. It’s like they’re trying to make the Emperor more scary by suddenly making Vader a bit less scary.

I’ve heard Lando’s last name (as well as seen it written out online) a dozen times, and I still don’t know what it is or how to say it.

That eye has a very deep voice. And an evil laugh.

Wasn’t this pig on Narnia or something? One of the White Witch’s crew?

As a kid, I thought this was Satan.

I don’t mean I thought it was an actor playing Satan. I thought it was actually Satan. In real life.

Now Luke has become a pixellated hologram just like Leia. I don’t know why but I feel like this would make him proud if he had known this in A New Hope.

I can’t believe he just gave Jabba the droids though.

A robot /torture/ chamber? Seriously, what is the point in torturing robots?

Elephant #3 –


THIS DOES NOT BELONG IN MY STAR WARS MOVIE. CGI alien singing that makes me want to die

when did this become a bad children’s cartoon

Boba Fett looks disturbed by it too

Seriously, the type of people Jabba and his gang are, they would not even listen to music like this.

omg she’s so tiny

I seriously could not guess who this was the first time I watched it because SHE IS SO TINY. I thought it must be some alien creature played by a child or a dwarf. But I think Chewie is just dwarfing her by comparison.

C-3PO talks to them both in English even though neither of them are speaking in English. Great translator.

There’s a whole huge archway with lots of space, and you walk in the one place, off to the side, WHERE THERE ARE CHIMES

That is actually terrifying

Take off the mask already Leia. And don’t talk so mysteriously. What are you trying to do, freak him out? Hasn’t Han been through enough already?

“HO HO HO HO” “I know that laugh…” So do I. Santa.


Please. Don’t do anything stupid.

Luke has arrived. And he’s…suddenly really masterful at using the force. o_O Seriously how did he get this good? I guess he must have gone back to Yoda and done more training between these two movies, but I wish they would have shown something about that so we‘d KNOW. Maybe they didn’t because they figured it was just ordinary training and would make for a boring, unnecessary scene. But still. It feels weird seeing him be a master straight off in this film when he seemed like a beginner in the last one.

SO mysterious~

“I warn you not to underestimate my powers” He looks like one of those tiny puppies who guard their house, and you think you’ll be okay because, after all, they’re so tiny and cute and must certainly not be as dangerous as a big dog would be! But then the little thing ends up doing way more dangerous than anything else ever would because, unlike big dogs, it’s actually ferocious enough to bite you.

Ouch. That didn’t go so well though.


It actually looks like it’s covered in BBQ sauce

Not even a BBQ beast can defeat Luke now though. He’s on a roll.

My aesthetic = the rancor keeper crying over his dead monster

Ah yes, Leia in her slave outfit. The only thing about her most people seem to remember.


Such confidence, Luke.

LOL @the cartoon plant in the pit

Okay, I see his plan now and it so would not have stopped me from being scared if I was him. SO many things can go wrong.

Luke air-kicking someone. XD

At least Leia gets to kill Jabba. I wouldn’t want to have been her, forced to sit there as a giant slug’s sex slave while the only two people you love are fighting not to die a long and horrible death.

“I have a promise to keep for an old friend” WAIT. He /hasn’t/ gone back and trained with Yoda yet? Then why is he suddenly so good at using the force now?

Vader and the Emperor have a lot more faith in Luke’s abilities than Yoda does. That SAYS something.

“Is Darth Vader my father?” “…Rest, I need.” STOP LYING MMMMMMM OMG WHY YOU ALWAYS LYYYINNNN

Luke apologizes to Yoda. XD That’s so backwards though. He has the right to be angry. He should have been angry about it A LONG TIME AGO.

“There is another…Skywalker…” Just SAY Leia is his sister. You don’t *need* to talk in riddles.

Obi-Wan comes and tries to excuse all his bold-face lying.

“Luke, you’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.” Yeah, you can say that again.

Go join the dark side, Luke.

“Leia. Leia is my sister.” And that’s it? At least give us a good reaction moment. We’ve watched him crush on her the last two movies.

Han being so worried about his ship while simultaneously trying to convince Lando to take it.


These look like human version of those trade federation aliens in the prequels!

I love the emperor, by the way. He’s exactly what I need in a villain. Purposely cheesy and melodramatic while also legit dangerous.

Fly casual. XD

The chase through the woods they make is a ride no human could make. Seriously, any human would die within 5 seconds. This was made JUST for the future video games wasn’t it. Somehow it must have been.

It’s good to know Luke is still the worst backseat driver after all this time.

The ewok is fierce and fluffy and literally me.

I want to see a version of this movie where Mark Hamill plays the emperor. I’ve seen an edit where the Joker is the emperor but that’s not the same. I need to see Mark Hamill actually get to do this and have a blast

Me: “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea…” C-3PO: “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” Oh

Who knew ewoks could be genuinely creepy

“I do believe they think I’m some kind of god.”


Who would have guessed cute little ewoks would eat humans. Can’t they tell these are the same kind of creatures as Leia? They see Leia as a friend, I think.

C-3PO is so useless in saving them ♥

Why do they not listen to their own “god”? They hold a feast to honor him but at the same time outright disobey him?

R2D2 shocked the creepy ewok

Han and Leia kiss and the ewoks are like “Ooooh!~” They ship it.

The ewok purring while holding onto Han’s leg. xD

Leia remembers images of her mother? She remembers her being beautiful and kind and sad? Her mother who died in childbirth?

“…And….my sister has it.” Why do all the characters choose the most ~mysterious~ way of telling each other everything

“I know. Somehow, I’ve always known.” Yet you were okay with kissing him before. But then, she WAS just using him to annoy Han when she did it, so I guess that could count as treating him like a brother. She’s a “PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND OR I’LL PUSH YOU IN THE SANDBOX” kind of sister.

“Luke, run away! Far away!” I’ve said before the script of these movies in unnatural, but this scene really takes the cake. It’s worded so clunky, dramatically, and mysteriously it does nothing but make them both seem OOC.

Luke finally succeeded in making Han jealous instead of the other way around. And he wasn’t even trying.

“This is the rebel that surrendered to us. I think there may be more of them,” the man said casually, blissfully unaware he has just brought Darth Vader his son.

I love this. I love everything about this. I know this whole father/son thing is probably done a lot, where a character’s father is evil and the son is destined to one day face the temptation/make the choice to become evil like his father or forge his own path, etc., etc. But honestly, when I see it here, it’s like seeing it for the first time. Everything just feels so IMPORTANT. It’s like…imagine if Hitler had a son. And growing up, he seems kind? But he’s still kind of a wildcard because he’s not done growing or finding out who he is yet. So will he be like most children and “want to be like his dad” and thus go bad? Or will he defy the odds and become his own person, completely different from everything his father stood for? It’s just so INTERESTING and I WANT TO SEE THAT. And we *are* seeing that. But in SPACE. Darth Vader is really just Space Hitler who wears a mask and breathes and chokes people with his faith.

Also Luke is dressed like Hamlet so u know dis gon be good

The way Luke is dressed all mysterious in black (a color usually associated with bad guys) while carrying a green lightsaber (associated with good guys) feels so symbolic to me.

Luke’s got that magic redeeming Fe. Vader can already feel the effects of it and we’ve barely gotten started with him here.


It sounded like Admiral Ackbar just said “Oh crap.” I mean it *seriously* sounded like he said that.

How does an ewok even know how to drive that thing?

He taps him on the shoulder. XD Defeating stormtroopers is so EASY

“In time, you will call me master.” Sorry, but no. Even if you do use his compassion for people to get him to use dark side tactics, even if you do get him to turn, that doesn’t mean he’ll see you as his master. To him, you’re still just a person who goes around hurting others.

“By now you must know your father can never be turned from the dark side.” Why is he so confident in that? XD

“Your overconfidence is your weakness.” “Your faith in your friends is yours.” I’ve never seen such an accurate character summation in-canon before. XD

“Oohh, I’m afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive~” The passive-aggression. This is true love.

“You rebel scum.”  His voice sounds exactly like emperor’s???


He just survives every fight, doesn’t he?

Omigosh. An ewok DIED. IT /DIED/ They’re so cute, I didn’t know they were allowed to die

Why is the “it’s a trap” line so famous? XD

“Strike me down and your journey toward the dark side will be complete.” You know, you might have had a lot more success in turning him if you hadn’t actually TOLD him that. Take a page from the book of his loved ones and LIE to him instead of telling him the truth about EVERYTHING.

…Wow. The dark and light sides of the force are pretty opposite when it comes to honesty. What even.

Also, why would doing that ONE THING cause him to magically turn to the dark side? He can’t choose to kill a villain and then stay on the good side? Why would he suddenly become the Emperor’s slave?

This is my favorite ewok. It’s just so happy.

Lol the emperor is having so much fun. Like he’s watching some really funny show.

“goOD GOoOOOood~”

Now the show he’s watching isn’t so funny anymore.

Looks like Vader has some irresistible Fe of his own. Like father like son, I suppose.

…Lando definitely just scratched Han’s ship.

Look at these two crazy bundles of Fe though

I really can’t with them.

And then he dies. e_e Luke finally gets his father back and then he dies before he can spend any real time with him. NOT FAIR.

And Luke gets out of there JUST IN TIME

Good, Lando’s okay too

You gotta hand it to him. Regardless of how presumptuous he was around Leia before, Han is surprisingly respectful when he finally thinks Leia loves Luke instead of him.

Ewoks DEFINITELY ship them

So Luke succeeded in redeeming his father, which then led to the destruction of the emperor and saving the universe. First it was Bilbo in The Hobbit, now Luke. What is it with these ExFJs always being underdog heroes? It’s like:

Tiny Kitten: i want to save the world.
People: awwe so cute he thinks he will be so helpful.
Tiny kitten: *saves world*
People: wait what

And his friends are safe too. So now he gets to spend time with his sister without needing to protect anyone anymore.

The thing that makes me hesitate though is Fe doesn’t just shut off just because everyone’s safe. People who have a need to protect other people *continue* to need to protect other people. It’s their life purpose. He can’t turn it off. He can only shift it to someone else. Now that the whole universe is saved, I wonder what his life purpose will be? What will his Fe latch onto now, and what side will he be on to save whoever needs saving in the future? I guess that’s what the new movie will answer.

Overall Thoughts

I just like evERYTHING SO MUCH.

I think my favorite of the movies is A New Hope. And then my second favorite would be Empire Strikes back, with Return of the Jedi coming in third. So, my favorites are literally chronological: 4, 5, 6. I was really surprised to find out that Empire was most fans’ favorite. I did enjoy that one, but for some reason I expected to be the only one to have liked it? Like, I thought I would have to defend it. I really expected to come online and see people running it down, and have to point out all its good points. But it turns out most fans like it even more than I do. XD

For favorite character, I think it’s obvious by now my favorite is Luke. Endearing cinnamon roll who is both hilariously naïve and admirably capable? And who you don't know if he'll be good or bad in the end? What’s not to like. Also, Mark Hamill is amazing. This is the real reason Aang couldn’t kill Ozai in ATLA. My second favorite is probably a tie between R2D2 and the emperor. And third favorite would be a tie between Leia and the ewoks.

I don’t dislike Han Solo. This commentary probably makes it sound like I do, but I don’t. I do like him as a character, especially in context of the trio. He’s definitely a jerk who annoys me a lot of the time, and it’s only the fact that Lucas wrote Leia as secretly liking Han back that allows Han to get away with what would otherwise make him a creepy stalker. But since she did like him back, nothing bad came out of it; and it was pretty normal at the time this was made for films to have guys act like that or worse toward women (not that it was ever a good thing, but you know). He’s definitely a developed character, well-written, well-acted, and he has some of the best lines and funniest expressions. And Harrison Ford is amazing, of course.


But I also feel that, even if Han wasn’t a developed character, people would still like him the same amount? While there are definitely a lot of people who think critically about characters who DO like Han Solo, I also think a lot of other people may like the character for more shallow reasons – solely because he’s “hot”, or because everyone just automatically likes the “handsome, charming, dishonest rogue with a heart of gold” trope, and if a character fits that trope all the girls will be in love with him and all the guys will want to be him regardless of whether or not he‘s well-written. And the trope is just so overused. Every character people like nowadays is that same kind of character. I mean, look at any popular fandom character. Iron Man, Captain Jack Sparrow, Flynn Rider, Star Lord, etc. It’s always the same “He’s handsome, he’s cool, he’s a jerk – but not REALLY. Deep down inside, he CARES. ♥ ” Han Solo feels like more of the same to me. More of the same done particularly well, I'll admit, but still the same.

Han is very enjoyable to watch. Having said that, he isn’t one of my favorites. And the constant attention he gets exhausts me and makes me jealous for the other characters. You’d think he’s the only person in this movie. If I go up to someone and say “I like Star Wars” they tell me “Ooh, yeah! That Han Solo. He’s so cool.” If people are talking about Star Wars, it turns out they’re talking about Han Solo. If new original trilogy themed merchandise comes out, it’s about Han Solo. Star Wars = Han Solo, apparently. I just feel like he swallows everything else up, and it’s difficult to find anything cool about the other characters. Like the majority of people are just like “Star Wars is awesome bECAUSE HAN SOLO THE END”. It’s just so /tiring/ because, while he’s a fun character, there are also so many OTHER THINGS. And it’s sad that he’s the only one people seem to care about.

Meanwhile, we have Leia Organa – this smart, well-developed, badass female character who is in a movie long before well-made female characters were in demand – who most people remember simply as “that one chick who wore that hot slave outfit, and also wore her hair in those big funny cinnamon buns”? And then we have Luke, who most of the fandom apparently views as the “whiny, boring MC”, when in reality, he is such a complex, unique character. All of the Star Wars characters are worthy of so much praise, to be honest. As are the actors who play them. And I wish the attention was spread out a bit more equally. I mean look at these darlings.


Why would you want to make any of them feel left out.

The Star Wars movies are amazing films. There are so many classic movies out there that don’t really deserve to be called classics, or that have just lost their luster because everything they did (which was new and unique at the time) has now become boring or cliché and tropey. But Star Wars really does deserve to be called a classic and it’s still just as unique and entertaining today. It definitely has its weak spots, like the cardboard script and the unnecessary problems the characters create for themselves through clumsiness or lack of communication. All of these things, I think, were signs of George Lucas’s bad creative decision making that he’s so famous for today. I think George Lucas was probably never that great a filmmaker, but he was excellent at hiring people who *were* good at what *they* did, and so a masterpiece was created through the hard work of his people. The actors are so talented, they really bring life to the whole thing. And the atmosphere and energy is so full and present, it all more than makes up for the bad points. What’s more, the unintended silliness often even adds to the fun of it, since cheesiness is such a staple of classic sci-fi anyway.

Overall, Star Wars is, I think, my favorite series of movies of all time. And I can't wait to see how the story continues in The Force Awakens.

What are your favorite moments in the original Star Wars trilogy? Tell us in the comments!


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